subject: He Doesn't Want to Get Serious – How to Get Your Guy to Commit to You [print this page] He Doesn't Want to Get Serious How to Get Your Guy to Commit to You
He doesn't want to get serious and it's causing some major strain in your relationship. If you and your man have been dating for some time and the next logical step, in your mind, is to commit to each other, it's frustrating when he doesn't agree. Being with a man who won't take the relationship to the next level will leave you feel rejected and confused. You begin to question your own appeal and you end up wondering whether you may be wasting your time.
If he doesn't want to get serious you need to figure out the reason why. For many men it's a simple case of them already being content with the relationship exactly the way it is. If you spend a lot of time together and you're always available to him, he really won't see any reason to change anything. He has you and he knows it.
Another common reason why men are reluctant to take their relationship to the next level is they just aren't convinced that the woman in question is the one. It stings to think about this because in your heart you probably have absolutely no doubt at all that he's the right guy for you. But if he has any doubts at all, he's not going to be open to the idea of moving things forward. In his own confusing way he's trying to protect both his heart and yours.
So is there a way to get him over his hesitation about a commitment? There is. Most of us think that the way to get a man more serious is to talk to him about it. You've likely been guilty of this. Pushing him for a commitment by talking about how great it will be and what an amazing catch you are. If you do this too often, it's actually going to have the opposite effect on him. He'll display even more resistance because he'll feel that he's being pushed into something he's not ready for.
The best move you can possibly make if he doesn't want to get serious is to temper the amount of energy you're putting into the relationship. If you're a pleaser and have done everything you possibly can to make him happy, start thinking more about your own needs. Focus on what you want out of life and chase after it, excluding the commitment. Spend more time nurturing your friendships or pursuing your career. Don't allow your relationship with him to define you anymore. If you spend more time thinking of yourself, and less being available to him, he'll realize that you may not always be as patient as you've been regarding a commitment. Once he understands that, he'll reconsider taking the relationship to the next level.
