subject: Is Your Spouse Depressed But Not Doing Anything About It? [print this page] Is Your Spouse Depressed But Not Doing Anything About It?
Being married to a depressed spouse is VERY, VERY difficult. Not only are they unpredictable, it is taxing on YOUR nerves, and, as one lady put it, "I'm a single parent who also has to care for a big child (her husband)".
One of the things that makes it difficult is that it is very frustrating that your spouse, the one who is suffering from depression, doesn't even see the problem. On the other hand, you can't figure out why he "just doesn't get it". This is terribly frustrating.
In this article you are going to learn 4 mechanisms that people use to be completely oblivious to a problem that they have. After you recognize how they are thinking you can them help them be aware of their problem and hopefully to help them try to deal with their problem.
1. Denial. This means that a person simply doesn't see that they are depressed. They REALLY think that they are upbeat and happy. It is very difficult to deal with a person in denial because they don't see any problem that they have to fix up. You may need to find creative ways to help a person really see how they truly are suffering. The help of a group or forum that has similar issues, can help you think of some ways or give you some tips to try to get your spouse to come out of denial.
2. Projection and blame. People who use this "mode" to deny their need to get help admit that there is a problem but they either blame someone, something, or a situation for the the problem. Alternatively, they will say that they don't have the problem but YOU have it. This is tough because as long as they are blaming someone other than themselves, they will never feel the need to get help.
3. Justification. With this defense system they will also admit that there is a problem but they will logically explain why they have their problem. It is important for you not to fall for their explanations but aim to EVENTUALLY get them help.
4. Minimizing. As the name implies sometimes they will admit that there is A problem but it is not as bad as you are making it. A typical statement of someone who minimizes is something like, "I wouldn't say that I'm depressed. I have just been a little down lately".
Having a depressed spouse is very difficult and frustrating since your spouse doesn't even think that they have a problem. Learn the 4 defense mechanisms to ignore their problem so YOU will be less frustrated with them and look for an effective way to help them conquer their problem.
For more ways to deal with a depressed spouse check out the link below.
