subject: The Stepford Wife Website: Beautiful, Bland And Very, Very Boring [print this page] Does anyone remember the book and movie, The Stepford Wives? If not, I recommend you read the book and/or see the movie, as the author's fictional concept has become a metaphor for certain experiences. When you think about it, a Stepford Wife is as scary as a green-faced Halloween witch.
The story describes a couple who buy their dream home in a beautiful suburban neighborhood. Soon they notice something odd about the women who live in this complex. They've begun to embody the stereotypical pre-feminist female. They're pleasant and attractive, but they've lost their individuality and given up on being edgy.
Have you ever visited a website that seems to fit this description? It's beautiful and professional but nothing grabs youand maybe you aren't sure why. Usually, the business owner's personality comes across as absent or bland and the website just blends in with the pack.
It's very easy to create this effect. When I write content for myself and my clients, often my first draft starts out like a Stepford Wife. For example:
(1) A wide open opening. For example: "If you are ready to change your life and stop making the old mistakes" Well, who isn't (at least some days of the week)? And what service professional doesn't promise to help people change?
(2) A headline that's calm and peaceful. "How to move forward with your own brilliance and creativity." How about, "Who else wants to explode a blah career into a blockbuster lifestyleusing creative talent you didn't know you had?"
(3) Tired worn out phrases. "Live the live you've always wanted." "Be the person you were meant to be." Sometimes a cliche can be powerful because it's familiarand if it's surrounded by original content that gets you to the edge.
(4) Abstractions and big words. Think of hitting your audience with a two-by-four, metaphorically.
One business owner suggested that "creativity can reduce to marginality." What does that mean? What is marginality? Why not say something like, "What do you do when your business takes an unexpected turn? You've done everything rightand suddenly you feel you've hit a wall."
(5) Definitions and quotes. So many websites include a definition of the services offered. "A financial planner is" Or, "The definition of mentoring is"
When you quote a definition, it's double whammy. Your visitors will get that eyes-glazed-over syndrome. Let's face it: who likes reading definitions? When I was a college professor, I used to mark down papers that began with a definitionand I wasn't even a copywriter. I just like to read interesting things.
Instead of defining your services, just explain what you do. For example, a real estate investment mentor might say:
"When you hire me as a mentor, you benefit from the mistakes I made when I started out doing exactly where you are today. You won't make the mistakes I made when I bought my first rental property. You'll get tips based on what I discovered the hard way over the past 15 years of successful investment in commercial and residential property."
You might go on to say, "Unlike a coach, I don't ask questions and invite you to uncover what you know already. I proactively walk you through what you need to do"
