subject: Are You The Biggest Obstacle To Your Success? [print this page] Are You The Biggest Obstacle To Your Success?
Is the one who's hampering you the most in your life, yourself? Our media tell us: "Be all you can be". We are propagandised from a very young age. Get a good education, get a good job, get a great husband or wife, make the money, have a beautiful family, retire in comfort and then die surrounded by your loved ones.
Problem is, not everyone's life goes to plan. Life's events get in the way. One thing you can't control is your childhood. You were at the mercy of those around you. So you were affected. You bring these memories and thoughts and feelings to bear in your adult life. This affects how you react to events and how you act as a social being.
One big mistake people make is assuming that they _are_ their feelings and memories.
By this I mean, you assume that the phenomena of thoughts and feelings are the same as your inner self, your soul. I think of them as bubbles of gas floating up out of a deep pond or like flies buzzing around an elephant. The flies fly hither and thither in a very agitated fashion but the elephant moves on slowly and implacably towards its destiny.
It's important to realise that you are distinct from your thoughts and emotions. That your thoughts and emotions are affected by your bodily state and that they in turn affect your body. Consider what 20 years of constant anxiety and anger can do to a human body purely on a chemical level. The 'mind' affects the body and the body affects the 'mind'.
So what does this mean on a practical level?
It means that most people spend their waking and sleeping moments flitting from thought to thought and feeling to feeling without stopping occasionally to recollect themselves and refocus. This can make them unwell.
Some facets of your life you can change. Some are out of your control. With the latter, what you _can_ change is how you _react_ to these events.
So something bad happens. Say it's not something you can fix. You can let it bother you for days or let it go. The same goes for any continuous, distressing thoughts or feelings you have. Examine them in a clinical manner, like a scientist, then imagine them dissolving into dust and nothingness, _as long as you are not imagining real people, living or dead_. You don't want to wish evil on others. It's wrong.
Modern psychiatrists and psychologists are making a big mistake in telling their patients it's OK to constantly revisit negative thoughts, feelings and memories. This gives them energy and makes them stronger.
