subject: How To Support Your Spouse During A Health Crisis [print this page] When a friend or relative goes through a difficult medical time, you may pray for them and wish them well, but when the person experiencing the medical problem is your spouse, it is as if you are going through the medical crisis yourself. You share your life with a person and that means experiencing the ups and downs with them throughout the years. One of you will face health problems at some point and look to the other for support and help. If your spouse faces a medical crisis, there are a number of things you can do to ease their stress and take some of the burden off of them while they focus on healing. A health crisis you may face together earlier in your marriage is struggling to conceive a child. If you are experiencing infertility, there are a number of things you can do to support each other and get through the challenge. IVF can help you with the medical and emotional side of challenges when it comes to conceiving a child.
If the medical problem affects only one of you physically, it can be a challenge to balance your concern and support. The spouse not directly affected may over-react, assuming the unhealthy person is in pain. There may be a tendency to smother the person and make them feel as if they are a child or incapable of functioning. In other cases, if a person is unable to experience the pain and stress of a disease directly, they may forget there is a problem and may not understand what the patient is experiencing. It is important if you are coping with the illness of a spouse that you offer support and understanding. Ask them how they feel but focus on what it is they feel they need. If they do not need additional support or assistance, let them be and just be there for them when needed. If they do need help with physical or emotional challenges, step in and take over.
When a health crisis requires a number of doctor's visits, it is important each spouse be a part of the visits. As the healthy spouse, you need to understand the medical condition so you can be prepared to deal with the healing and the worst case scenario. Visiting the doctor is also one of the most stressful parts of being ill, so your spouse will rely on you for support during these times. Finally, your spouse may need medications or treatment that make it impossible for them to travel, so you will need to offer practical support, in addition to what you are offering emotionally.
During a health crisis, it is easy to get wrapped up in the stress and focus only on the illness. Be sure you take time to enjoy life together aside from the illness. As the healthy spouse, it is your responsibility to redirect attention to other things. Do this with sensitivity so it does not appear that you are brushing off the illness, but that you are reminding each other you have a life outside of the illness.
Finally, if things get overwhelming, look for support outside of the family. There are support groups that can offer advice and support when things seem to be too much. You can also call on friends and other family members for assistance during stressful times.
