subject: How To Save A Marriage [print this page] If you have recently been involved in a long distance relationship that went bad, and you want to get your ex back but fear the method for getting your ex back are different, I have some news for you. They aren't. The rules to get your ex back are the same for those in long distance relationships as they are for those that had in person relationships.
The first thing you do, and this is more important for those in LDR than anyone, is to maintain no contact. It is paramount that you do not contact your ex. I was recently asked, "How is no contact going to help me get my ex back if I wasn't there in person"? Well, it works the EXACT same way as if you WERE in person. No contact is something that effects the dumper in an emotional and mental way.
While involved in the long distance relationship, you have been a provider of emotional support for the duration of the entire relationship, whether you realize it or not. It was your emails, it was your phone calls, it was your kind words of encouragement and support that your ex looked forward to everyday. When you, by going no contact, pull that emotional support rug out from under their feet, they will miss it eventually. Believe it!
To begin with, though you and your ex have parted ways, you can still let him or her know that you are thinking about them. You can send your ex nice, friendly, noncommittal emails, or write a short letter just telling him or her how you are doing and what is going on. In letters such as these do not bring up the past, because at this point you are trying to get back as friends first. Becoming caring friends again is critical if you want to rebuild communication in your relationship and eventually get back together. So for the moment, work on being friends again - you can capture the romantic past later on, once the two of you have moved in that direction.
Every now and then, send your ex a surprise, friendly care package, filling it with little silly things that will make him or her laugh and think of you and your time together. Send him special gifts on special occasions like his birthday with no strings attached. Send her a book you've just read and loved. Just keep things happy and open!
Perhaps as time passes your ex may request that the two of you meet up in an internet chat room. You know, you may be miles away, but with the use of the internet, your ex is just a click away.
The, when things are looking good and your boyfriend or girlfriend is giving hints that there could be a new romantic relationship brewing once again, you can make arrangements so that you can come together geographically. Invite him for a friendly visit so that you can reconnect and reunite.
It would be during this time that you iron out any and all past mistakes and start out fresh and anew. One thing to stress though, is that whenever you approach your ex after a breakup, whatever the cause of the relationship breakdown, you MUST be really careful that you don't look desperate for their attention and obsessed with regaining their love. This will either just scare them away, or lead to a really unbalanced degree of power in the relationship. Respect yourself, respect your ex, and begin to travel the road of friendship once again. Once you do, the miles between you will be like nothing, and you stand a wonderful chance of getting back together for the long run!
