subject: Deal With The Uncontrollable Things With These Ways [print this page] What you have to do is to turn on CNN to realize how crazy and out of control the reality and world is.
You should know first that there are big things like war, terrorism, political gridlock. Yet, there also have the smaller things that you can not control such the bad weather to your son or your daughter. If you are a controlling person who can have everything just so in the correct place in perspective and then the feeling you can not control is one of the most stressed things that could ever come to you.
You have to accept the golden role of life has not changed, and never will: Things happen. You can not control much of it. What is on the control is how you will response it and how much it can influence you physically and financially.
1. Distinguish what you cannot control from what you can. Then you need to direct your energies to affecting the latter, and frankly accepting the former. It sound pretty easy, but you would be surprise at how many persons still consider the traffic, or their boss's mood or the weather are on the control. List all things in your life that you can not control, no matter how hard you had tried, and post it on your computer. Certainly you can care about these things and manage to influence their consequence. But it is also essential that you have to untie your emotional happiness from the stuffs you cannot alter.
2. When you notice the things feel out of control, clean a drawer or a closet. It can work well. If you get a call that there are something happen to your family member, you tidy your pantry, and you will feel better because that you could control.
3. Start with a new hobby. Grasping a new skill, maybe it is learning to knit, will give you a feeling of controlling your life.
4. When the bad things happen, sit down and write down what you might have done differently. The self-assessment is not to beat up on yourself; it is an opportunity to tell you that you can not control everything, but you can control you. What can I do that will make the situation work better? Therefore, if you are given a bad evaluation at your work, you should not react it with blaming your boss or blaming you are unlucky. Instead, you should be honest with yourself about what you could have done differently the year, went to the work on time to gain the better result. Knowing you role in the situation can help you realize that the world is quite a controllable place, in fact.
5. When things feel out of control, pick a stuff in your life to start that you can make a difference in. For instance, start an exercise program, record in your journal one day per week, or take your car in for an oil change.
