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Discover How to Get The Divorce Support You Want

How to Recover From Your Divorce: Characteristics to help you create a life of abundant love, passion, & happiness, Part 2:

Resolving your childhood loses, trauma, wounding, hurts, & deprivations, Pt. 3

Ok, so now you and I are on the same page. You're beginning to realize, yes, you past IS like a song stuck in your head you don't

even realize is there, playing over and over again. And as it does it is strongly influencing your thoughts, feelings, choices,

behaviors, & attitude. You're now beginning to understand whenever you have a 'flood' of emotion it's your forgotten past flooding

into the present. So...what does all of this mean for you, right here, right now?

What this means to you is you experienced loss, pain, hurt, wounding, deprivations, &/or trauma (like death of a parent, car accident,

abuse of some sort; as well as the death of a pet, moving, going to a new school). Any one of these mean one of two things:

1. The needs you had growing up were flatly denied (for connection, love, acceptance, to be heard and validated, to have your anger

accepted & contained, for comfort, and for problems to be resolved satisfactorily in a mutually-beneficial manner). 2. You're needs

weren't out-right denied, but you experienced what I call "Need Frustration". What this means to you is your needs were unsatisfactorily

met or weren't even recognized as needs by your primary care givers. You may have received love, acceptance, but the care you received

was inconsistent. Sometimes your needs were met, sometimes they weren't. Need frustration means someone you're depending or counting

on is not fully attuned to the messages you're giving them. Need denial (#1) & need frustration (#2) are not mutually exclusive as some

needs can be flatly denied whereas others can simply be frustrated.

As a result of either need frustration or need denial you experienced loss, pain, trauma or deprivations. What this means to you is you

did get what you needed to feel loved, accepted, safe, competent, validated, or important. When this happens repeatedly and consistently

we miss out on necessary experiences in relationship so we can grow up whole & complete. There are certain things we never got, and now

our unconscious in in a perpetual search to get those experiences it needs & longs for which it never got growing up.

We unconsciously get into relationships because our unconscious sees this person as a likely candidate as someone who can give us what we

missed out on growing up. We see someone as an opportunity to fulfill us so we can now be whole and complete. Unfortunately, this also

means the very people we're hoping to fulfill us and give us what we couldn't get before are ALSO going to repeat the injuries we

experienced growing up because they will be a REPRESENTATIVE of those primary relationships. What this means to you is they will not

only embody the positive characteristics of that person or persons, they will also embody the NEGATIVE characteristics as well.

Therefore, WHEN YOUR PAST IS LEADING YOU BY THE NOSE (or in this case by your heart) YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REPEATING PAST FAILED RELATIONSHIPS!

Unfortunately, when your past is unresolved you will continue to be injured by those you HOPE will give you the fulfillment and healing

you're desperately seeking (whether you're aware of it or not). You will repeat arguments, continue negative habits & patterns, and

continue to be stuck in the same issues, from one person to the next in your romantic and non-romantic relationships whether it's with

your friends, co-workers, family members, or children. You're probably wondering right now...

Are you doomed?

You're future depends on you. You have a choice to make. Do you want to continue allowing your past to unconsciously continue to rule

your present and future? Or, do you want to get the fulfillment and healing you missed out on & resolve the past so you can CREATE the

present and future you WANT? And this IS possible. I should know, because I was just like you, and figured out how to overcome my past;

get the healing I needed and the fulfillment I missed out on, and am now able to create the present and future I want.

I can guarantee you one thing. Unless you make the CHOICE to resolve your past, your marriage problems will continue. You may have some

minor successes, but problems will simply creep up somewhere else. You will continue to feel frustrated, invalidated, insecure, anxious

(if not fearful), judged, unsatisfied, & unfulfilled. And it's NOT your partner's fault. YOU ARE responsible for your own

need fulfillment.

In the next article in this series I'll reveal to you some of MY "insider secrets" for how you can resolve your past and create a future

filled with the abundance of passion, love, happiness, peace, & fulfillment, so don't miss out !

P.S.: If this article was helpful to you, encouraged or supported you, or if you learned something new or were reminded of something

you needed to be reminded of - let me know! I'd love to hear from you!! Also, if you think it would benefit someone you

care about, please do them a favor and "pass it on!"

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