subject: Gay Marriage: How to Judge if You and Your Partner are All Set for the Next Step [print this page] Gay Marriage: How to Judge if You and Your Partner are All Set for the Next Step
Marriage is a huge step for any two people in a relationship. But for gays and lesbians especially, since much of the world is watching our relationships, hoping to see us crash and burn since. They say that more than half of today's marriages end in divorce. Of course, that statistic is based completely on heterosexuals. So if you're thinking about marriage, consider that number. We can to do better than that! Marriage is the commitment of a lifetime and you want to be sure that you and your partner are prepared to be responsible for that next step. Of course, no one can tell you when you are ready. It is something only you can know. But here are some helpful tips on how to evaluate if marriage is the best thing for you and your partner:
Live together first - Since many people assume, we're "living in sin" anyway, a rational action would be to move in and stay with your partner first to try it out. Although you can get to know someone by dating them for several years, you never really know someone until you live with them and have to justly share your day-to-day life with someone. And once gay marriage is legalized, it will be much easier to move out than to get a divorce.
Write a list - Consider what spending the rest of your life with your partner would really be like. Take the time to write a list of all the good things including all the challenges that would come of it. Consider both the pros and cons to the marriage and most significantly whether it's a good move for the both of you. When you are through, burn the list so that your partner will never find it and have their feelings hurt. Seriously, burn the list.
Think about it - This is a huge deal, so don't rush into the decision. You have your whole life to get married, so make sure you've really thought about it. What are the real reasons for you to get married? Do you and your partner have problems that you're currently struggling with? Are you trying to use marriage as a mean to stop your on-going problems? Do you want to get married to prove a point either to your family or to society? Because if these are your reasons then you need to take a huge step back and look at the situation judgmentally.
Love isn't enough - Regrettably but true. One can love many people in a lifetime. And many of the people we love, aren't really good matches for us. Examine your partner. Do you trust him or her? Is your partner the kind of character you can always depend on? Will your partner contribute in the same way to building a home and a life together? Many people feel that if they love someone marrying that person is the "next step." On the other hand, a successful and great marriage is not based on the love for your partner, it's more than that You should want to spend the rest of your life with you partner and be ready to tell the world just that.
To conclude, one should by no means jump into a marriage on impulse. Take some time to consider and examine what you expect out of the marriage before you commit. It should be a lifelong decision and commitment and should be taken seriously.
