subject: Coping With Life On The Stress Ledge [print this page] Ever had one of those days when you've felt you were out on a ledge ready to scream? Sure, you have. Maybe your day started like this. First off, a car unexpectedly zips in front of you in early morning traffic. Of course they didn't signal, they act like you're not even there. That gets your heart pumping and might get your blood boiling. The morning from hell has begun.
Next you pull up to the office, park, and just as you head to the door it starts to rain, no umbrella. You race to insert your key in the lock, won't turn. Another glance at your key, it's the right one, the very same one you've used forever. Rain picks up and now there's a little wind. There goes the good hair day.
"Guess nobody told you they changed the locks yesterday?" the new guy from accounting says as he surfboards past you. In a flash just like magic his key works. Voila!
The perfect storm is brewing and you are not singing in the rain. You trudge through the door, muttering to yourself and feeling like a bag lady looking for a bridge to crawl under. You forgo the bridge for the break room; you're on a mission to grab a full roll of paper towels to dry off with. Eager for some fresh brewed hot coffee, you search everywhere for the mug with your name on it. Not to be found.
Splish splash...you hear the squishing of your shoes as you slosh your way to your desk juggling the Styrofoam cup. You slide into your chair and hit the keyboard. Across the screen in bold the message reads, access denied, contact your system administrator. You think to yourself, you can bet I am going to make contact! Soon you discover the word on the street is that the IT gremlins have installed an update overnight and you can't get into the network. Counting to ten, you take a sip of coffee and grimace at the taste of decaf on a day you could have used a serious infusion of caffeine.
It's a conspiracy, now you are out there on the ledge, with your fingernails dug in, hanging on as you begin to ponder what else could go wrong. Gritting your teeth, you see a day of snarling and complaining in store for you. You may feel you're the victim of a conspiracy theory; everyone's out to get you.
So what can you do when you find yourself wadded up with life? Stressful events like the ones I've described can be compared to stubbing your toe or grabbing a wood handle and ending up with splinters in your hand. It'll hurt a bit when it happens and it'll sting when you put ice on your toe or use the tweezers on your hand. But if you engage in solution type thinking, your rational mind will stay the course and put this behind you. You take care of it, you get over it, you move on.
When life finds you out there on the stress ledge, get creative. Try making a fist, bring it to your mouth and then breathe into it, pretending it's a balloon. Blow with gusto as you think of the rude, insensitive driver. (Doubt you're ready to picture that he/she was actually on their way to a family emergency and offer some compassion or less judgment.)
Blow into that imaginary balloon full throttle and focus on being left off the new door key distribution list yesterday. Give it all you have left in your lungs and pump up the balloon to capacity as you reflect over the morning's unlucky events. This is one big balloon. Don't forget the rain, the decaf, the system upgrade, get it all out. Now in an instant, let go of your fist and picture that balloon spewing and sputtering all over as all that inflatable air rips loose. You could even add some drama to this technique and add sound effects. Make that high pressured hissing sound that only an air-packed balloon can make. See it in your mind's eye; imagine it gyrating from full to empty. Hear your resolved sigh. It's over!
Releasing helps you restart with where you are so you don't stay stuck where you've been. Don't let things you can't do anything about rule your world.
Build up those coping muscles! It's a fact you're human and these triggering events are real and trying. How long they linger is up to you. Throw away that magnifying glass you may have become accustomed to using on the little stuff. Practice building up healthy coping muscles so they can be ready to lift when the big stuff comes your way.
Stress, little or big, imagined or real can snowball into a fit of rage, so learn what works best for you in order to stay off the stress ledge screaming "I've had it."
