subject: Get Your Ex Back - Do You Have The Confidence to Get Him Back? [print this page] Get Your Ex Back - Do You Have The Confidence to Get Him Back?
When trying to get your ex back it can often feel like his heart has turned to stone. It can feel like he has no feelings for you whatsoever and that where there was once a warm and loving man there is now nothing but contempt and hatred. While this may break your heart over and over again each time you see your ex there are things that you can do to soften his heart and open the lines of communication again. It is possible to restore that connection that the two of you once had and pave the way to actually getting back together.
While many experts suggest that you try to talk through your problems you have probably seen that at this stage of the breakup talking is almost useless. Are you noticing that any time you try to talk to him about the breakup he closes up a little more and maybe even gets angry if the topic of the breakup or possibility of reuniting comes up? This is very typical and right now any talk of your relationship is going to bring about this reaction from him. Save talk about the breakup for when you are back together and when he is apologizing to you for breaking up. Yes, you got that right... when he is apologizing.
For right now it might be best if you avoid him for just a little while. How long is dependent upon how stubborn he is being and how thick the walls are that he has built up around himself. Give him some time to begin to miss you and realize that life probably isn't going to be the same without you around anymore. Let him wonder a little bit what happened to you and if you have possibly moved on. It might be a little bit scary for you at this stage to sort of let him go but in the long run you will find that it is to your own benefit to give him this time.
Instead spend some time focusing on yourself. Work on your own mental well being. After all, you have a tremendous chore ahead of you in getting him back. It is going to take some willpower and great restraint to do the things that might be necessary to actually get him back. There will be times when you will want to tell him that you love him. There will be times when you will want to call him just to hear his voice. There are going to be moments also when you become so frustrated that you are going to want to throw your hands up in the air and just call it quits. Stand strong and remember the good times that you shared. Remember what it felt like to be held in his arms and how much you loved to hear the words "I love you" come from his lips. That will be the payoff for you and the reward for your persistence and patience when trying to get him back.
As easy as it might be to try to fake all of this, it is necessary that you really are all pulled together before you re-initiate contact with him again so the quicker you are able to heal your heart and get your head screwed back on straight the better. Practice some positive visualization and build up your self confidence that you really can do this. You really can get your ex back. Imagine what it will look like to have him come walking in that door. Imagine what it will sound like to hear him tell you that he loves you again. Imagine how things might go that first time he pulls you close and kisses you again for the first time. Mentally knowing it and feeling it in your heart can make all the difference in the world.
Now spend some time thinking about things that you might want to talk with him about the next time you see him. Yes, things are going to be awkward that first time but it's always a good idea to have a couple of topic or items that you can tell him about when the conversation gets stale or strained. But most of all, it is necessary that you exude the confidence from within that you really can get your ex back. Without that you are alike a rowboat without any oars or a sailboat without a rudder. Without a clear direction and plan you aren't going to be able to take control of the relationship and steer it in the direction that you desire.
