subject: Teaching Children Discipline - Pitfalls To Avoid For Effective Parenting [print this page] Teaching Children Discipline - Pitfalls To Avoid For Effective Parenting
Many parents just give up on teaching children discipline because they have been worn down and have had to give in. But the situation then starts to get out of hand as the child learns how to manipulate the parents and exploit every little weakness in their armor. It is a no win situation.
There are still parents who firmly believe that teaching children discipline can be done by using physical violence, even in the third millennium. The bad news is that this is not the way to do it. There are three very simple reasons for this.
First the children learn that violence seems to be a method that is approved of by the parents. After all, they use it all the time. But research shows that children who are subjected to physical punishment then become violent themselves. It seems to be a bona fide method so they start using it and sometimes, it even gets results, for example when they start bullying other children.
The second reason is that as the children get older and stronger, they can shrug off any physical punishment and we can see that it is starting to lose its impact, for example, they no longer cry. The problem with using this technique as a means of teaching discipline is that it does not work. The reason is that the child learns nothing about misbehavior and why it is unacceptable. The Academy of Pediatrics also says that it is no use at all.
The third reason is that beating or spanking a child makes a child feel less guilty because he has paid a certain price. But of course, he has learnt nothing about the misbehavior and why it could lead to unpleasant consequences. The parents did not have the time or energy to explain all that!
Many parents of course do not spank or beat their children but they are angry that they have tried everything and nothing works. Teaching children discipline seems to be very difficult.
They may have learnt the hard way that giving in after a particularly violent outburst is sowing the seeds in a young child's mind that that is how you get what you want. Imagine that kid growing up with that kind of mindset!
Then there are parents who say that teaching children discipline is all about being friends with your child. Actually, you can bond with your child and you can show affection and love but you have to insist that the limits are there, and the kids know those boundaries.
If you would like to know more about teaching children discipline, why not check out what the strategies are in the parenting jungle. It really is the survival of the fittest. Make sure that your kid is not getting the upper hand. Who is in control in your house, anyway?
