subject: 4 Habits of Happy Couples [print this page] 4 Habits of Happy Couples 4 Habits of Happy Couples
By Susie and Otto Collins
There are plenty of examples out there of how NOT to create a happy love relationship or marriage. Unfortunately, you don't have to look further than the headlines of celebrity magazines or divorce statistics to see people who appear to be doing their best to ruin a relationship.
Of course, it's rare for a person to intentionally ruin a relationship, but this is just what many do. For some, they do it over and over again.
What we're talking about here are habits. As you probably already know, habits are those behaviors that you do time and time again. They become so comfortable, accustomed and normal to us. We hardly even notice that we're doing them.
A personal habit might be biting fingernails, lighting up a cigarette or reaching for a cookie when stressed out. We fall into relationship habits too. Some of our relationship habits tear apart our relationship while other habits can actually be the passionate and loving glue that keep us connected.
If you'd like to know how to create a happy, close and connected love relationship or marriage, look to the habits of happy couples. They're out there. They might not always make the headline news or covers of tabloid magazines, but there are plenty of happy couples for you to learn from.
Watch what their habits are and apply them to your own relationship. Because every relationship is different, be sure to notice what seems to help you move closer to your partner and what doesn't. Do more of what brings you closer.
Here are some examples to get you started...
#1: Happy couples are honest about everything.
One of the biggest happiness-crushers out there is mistrust. When you don't feel like you can fully trust what your partner is saying to you, this really gets in the way of connection.
No matter how "small" or "big" the lie, if you aren't completely honest with your mate, distance and doubt will most likely start to come between you two and stand in the way of happiness.
Be courageous and don't make assumptions. If you think that your partner can't "handle" the truth, find ways to communicate about it anyway. He or she might pleasantly surprise you-- and so will the results.
#2: Happy couples make their relationship a priority.
Too often we hear about a couple who has grown apart and, after years together, realize they don't really have much love left between them. Growing apart can happen for various reasons. One of these reasons is often that the couple has become so distracted or busy, they stop making their relationship a priority.
You don't have to choose between your kids and your partner or your career and your partner or your own well-being and your partner. When you make your relationship a priority, you deliberately set aside time during which you can focus your energy and attention on your mate and your relationship.
There is plenty of you to go around to also be the partner you want to be and to create the career you desire.
This might be sharing coffee and conversation on Saturday mornings, it could be regular date nights together or it might just be taking 5 minutes every day to look one another in the eye and have a "real" conversation and check in time.
#3: Happy couples nurture themselves-- and each other.
There's no doubt about it. A healthy and happy love relationship or marriage always involves two individuals who continue to nurture and care for themselves as well as for one another.
Don't stop listening to your own unique needs and don't stop following your own path to "bliss" (whatever that looks like for you) just because you are in a relationship. When one person puts his or her well-being on hold, the relationship will be stifled as well.
Keep discovering what helps you feel more passionate and alive as an individual and then allow that to spill over into your relationship.
#4: Happy couples have fun together.
You've got to have fun together. If you're constantly worried about something "bad" happening in your relationship and so you are always working and trying to fix things, you're also putting a big damper on happiness.
If you have to plan time for "just fun," then do it. If you can be spontaneous and stay open to unexpected moments of fun, do that too. Encourage yourself to let loose, be silly, playful and passionate with your partner.
This will not only bring you two closer together, it will also most definitely bring you happiness.
