subject: 3 Tips When You Want to Win Back Your Woman [print this page] 3 Tips When You Want to Win Back Your Woman
By Otto Collins
Jeff is ready with flowers, candies, love poems and more. His girlfriend broke up with him a couple of weeks ago and he's determined to win her back.
The first days after she told him that she wanted to stop seeing him were horrible for Jeff. He had no appetite and he could barely concentrate on anything at work or home. His friends tried to distract him and cheer him up, but nothing has worked.
Finally, Jeff got over the initial shock of the break up and now he's willing to do whatever it takes to win back his woman. He still can't understand why she'd want to leave their relationship.
If you want to win back your woman, you might be ready to do whatever it takes, just like Jeff. However, before you start to send those flowers and cards, I advise you to take some time to think about what you're doing.
Pretending that there were no problems in your love relationship or marriage-- or that your problems can be swept away with some gifts and romantic words-- will not help you or your ex in the long run.
This certainly won't win her back either.
Instead, try these 3 tips...
#1: Ask yourself this question: "Is this wise?"
I understand. You love this woman. She was the light of your life. Now, you want all of that back. You want her back in your life and in your bed.
There is a huge difference between what you want and what is in your best interests. Really assess what happened in your relationship together and also what is going on now for both you and for your ex.
Continue to ask yourself, "Is it wise to try and get back together with her?"
You both might still care about (and love) each other very much, but there could be some reasons why it's not in either of your best interests to reunite.
Some reasons might include: addiction issues, one or both of you are in new relationships, uncontrollable anger issues, abuse (emotional, physical, sexual), infidelity, inability to forgive infidelity and more.
I can't give you a finite list of what's "wise" and what's "unwise." This has to be determined by you. What is most important is for you to ask yourself that question.
#2: Take an honest look at your ended relationship.
If you decide that it IS in your best interests to try and win back your ex, before you set out to woo her, take some time to learn from the past. I never recommend that a person live in the past or become fixated on what happened in the past.
At the same time, it's helpful to understand the personal and relationship habits that contributed to you and your woman becoming disconnected and then breaking up or getting a divorce.
Try to recall what happened as if you were an observer looking in on your ended relationship. Take note of the specific habits that played a role in the distance that drove you two apart. Pay particular attention to areas such as communication, trust and intimacy.
This isn't about figuring out who was to blame for your break up. It is about gaining a clearer understanding of what happened and being willing to try some different things in the future.
#3: Make amends and be open to creating agreements.
If your woman is willing to explore getting back together with you again, be sure to make amends for your share in the problems you two had in the past.
You can let her know that you want to start fresh with her, but that you also are willing to acknowledge you role in past hurts. If you are making apologies, make sure they are genuine and from the heart.
As you two spend time together, be on the lookout for you both falling into those disconnecting relationship habits. When something starts to develop, suggest an agreement that will help take you two in a different direction.
