subject: When She Wants a Divorce – How to Change Your Wife's Mind and Save the Marriage [print this page] When She Wants a Divorce How to Change Your Wife's Mind and Save the Marriage
Marriage is full of both good times and bad times. No one ever truly knows what they're getting into when they march down the aisle on their wedding day. Obviously, there are going to be challenges regardless of how deeply you love your wife. Most of those problems can be overcome and you find that it just further strengthens the bond that you two share. However, sometimes something comes up that feels overwhelming and unsolvable. If the conflict is very serious your wife may pull back and start to consider a future without you. When she wants a divorce, and you don't, you have some work ahead of you.
When she wants a divorce you're obviously going to first feel panic and then uncertainty. It's hard to fathom how you can turn things around again to the point where she not only wants to work on the marriage but is deeper in love with you. It's possible though and it's all about how you handle the situation right now.
Agreeing to a divorce isn't something you should ever do if it's not what you want. Some women will bring up the idea in haste, when they're angry or upset with their husband. If he agrees to it because he feels overwrought, the relationship could actually fall apart forever, even though that wasn't the intention of either person.
Before you do anything, tell your wife that you're not ready to take that step yet. Be calm when you say this and if she is insistent that a divorce is truly what she desires, suggest a separation instead. This also seems like a step in the wrong direction, but it's a temporary solution to her need to have some distance. It can also work in your favour because it will give her an opportunity to spend time away from you which may help her to realize that she needs to be with you.
The foundation of your marriage has to be open and active communication. You need to talk with your wife more and listen to her more intently if she wants a divorce. Many marriages fall apart simply because the couple drifts so far apart that they don't talk about anything of substance anymore.
Make an effort to talk more with your wife. Plan times to talk, whether you two are still living together or not. Encourage her to share what she's feeling and make it clear to her that you are ready to listen and learn and not to react hastily. If you follow through with this and you do absorb what she tells you it can help you to become a better husband and life partner.
Throughout all of this keep telling your wife how much you love and adore her. Let her see that you're not ready to give up on her and that you want and need a future with her. Use this as an opportunity to really show your wife that you believe you two still do belong together.
