subject: Unique Gifts For Dads, Unique Gifts From Them - Father's Day Reflections For Daughters [print this page] Unique Gifts For Dads, Unique Gifts From Them - Father's Day Reflections For Daughters
Fathers are such an important influence in the lives of their children. A lot has been written about the father/son relationship. Boys growing up with good role models turn out to be more assured and self-confident than those who didn't have a father figure at home. But, the father/daughter relationship can have even greater impact and implication on the well being of a grown daughter.
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As Father's Day approaches and as we are looking for unique gifts for dad, we can reflect on the unique gifts he has given us over the years.
As women, we learn how to be with men and how to be treated by a man from the first man in our lives, our dads. Mothers usually serve as role models for their daughters. They provide examples of how to be an individual, a mother and a wife. Fathers, however, teach their daughters how to regard themselves, what kinds of relationships are healthy, what to look for in a partner, and what to expect of men in co-parenting relationships.
Here are a few things a daughter needs to learn from her father:
Respect.
Little girls gain their first reflection of themselves as a female from their relationship with their father. They develop a sense of self-acceptance or rejection; they feel valued or unworthy. Children regard themselves as they think others regard them... and a dad can show his daughter how to be treated with respect.
Giving and receiving affectionate from men
Learning to be respected, and safe while being affectionate, is an important lesson for every woman to learn. It is from our fathers that we first learn to distinguish being regarded as people, not sexual objects. Boundary issues and modesty issues, as well as a right to privacy, are developed early on, depending upon the relationship a girl has with her father. Mothers can tell their daughters how to behave with men, but dads can show them.
Male-female negotiation skills
Father-daughter relationships are an important place to learn how compromise well and negotiate fairly. Daughters learn to rebel against rigidly set rules and absolute authority. Over-critical fathers or all powerful male authority sets a daughter up for rebellion. Self-confidence comes when a father listens and respects his daughter's thoughts and opinions from an early age and when she sees him doing the same with her mother.
Being assertive without being aggressiveIf daughters learn to communicate with their fathers, and trust that their they will be heard and listened to, they develop a confidence which allows them to be assertive and stand up for themselves. Aggressive reactions stem from a sense of powerlessness and combativeness. Daughters learn best when father's listen to their views and opinions, even if they don't agree with them.
What to expect from a male-female relationshipDaughters learn about marriage from watching the way their parents treat each other. If parents treat each other well, it becomes the natural expectation. If Dad is a tyrannical, she unconsciously or consciously may decide that all men are that way, and not to be listened to. If dad is an alcoholic or drug or other abuser, she may come to view men as unreliable and hurtful.
When a dad treats his daughter well, she comes to see herself as a worthwhile individual as well as a respected woman. If Dad rejects or criticizes her, she develops a belief that she is unworthy.
The gifts a dad gives his daughter may be subtle, but they are life changing.
