subject: Counseling - The Relationship Addiction Lure [print this page] Counseling - The Relationship Addiction Lure
The term addiction brings with it a lot of negative imagery. It isn't fun to be thought-about a fan, but the truth be told, most people have some sort of addictive behaviours that cause us problems. The distinction is in degrees. Will my addiction for excessive amounts of garlic on my pizza have the same impact on those shut to me as an addiction to relationships? Unlikely.
Initial, let's clarify the that means of the word addiction. One of the keys to identifying an addictive behaviour is whether or not the behaviour is being done as a suggests that of avoiding or neglecting alternative necessary priorities.
Excessive eating and work are two of the most highly regarded addictions in our society. A spouse is disheartened by the lousy state of their marriage. They increase their pursuit of activities they will succeed at. They recognize how to figure and eat. They feel sensible engaged in these activities. Not a whole ton of positive is coming out of their marriage.
Now, what's the person who is passionate about relationships trying to avoid?
The healing of a wounded heart is the first objective of most relationship addicts. These are usually left over wounds that were experienced when they were kids. Their root is often found in some kind of abuse or lack of correct care. What happened in their childhood, they are trying to get relief from. What they ought to have received from their family of origin, love and positive reinforcement of their value, they're striving to get from a partner or mate. Not being in an exceedingly relationship for an extended period of time is quite attempting for them. Once one relationship ends, they are as eager as a dog chasing a stick in their pursuit of another mate. The problem of compatability is given very little thought.
Someone's life solely gets a lot of troublesome the longer they avoid addressing their addictive behaviour and also the impact it's having on their life. The addict gets less and less out of their addictive behaviour over the course of time. In order to urge the push they are looking for, they need more of their drug of choice.
The answer for one managing a relationship addiction is to be honest about their drawback and get help to heal their wounded state. It's essential not to get caught up believing that their behaviour is notably unique. Employing a relationship to induce a fix is much too common.
The process of attempting to heal old wounds through relationships is rarely done conciously by a person. Their mate is not alert to this objective. When their partner fails to produce the extent of healing love and affection they want, they blame their partner for not having the ability to heal their wounds from childhood.