subject: How To Reconcile With Your Ex (And Keep Them For a Lifetime) [print this page] How To Reconcile With Your Ex (And Keep Them For a Lifetime)
Want to know how to reconcile with your ex? There are specific things that will help you get them back. Using reverse psychology and knowing a little about human nature willbe the tools youneed. There's not a lot youhaveto know to make this work, and it doesn't usually take very long to turn things around in your favor.
If you want to skip this article, you cango straight to a comprehensive plan on how to reconcile with your ex.
Now, everyone plays games a little whendating, so you shouldn't feel bad or deceitful when you plan your attack. We all size up the other person and hold back a little here and there. Itis important to knowwhat the other person brings to the table and whatthey can offer in return for your commitment to the relationship.
This is no different. You have broken up at this point and attempting to start over -this is essentially a new relationship. (If you have broken up, things will be different in your relationship when you get back together now.) So at this point, you need to reassess each other, right?
You are obviously not in control of the situation at this point, and what you want right now is to gain at least some level of control. Sohere's what you need to know.....
You are going to act indifferent to the break up.
Act like it doesn't bother you at all. In fact, it's best to say that it was a good thing after all. You are happy it happened. You see things more clearly now and it was best for both of you.
Now, I know you are probably freaking out and thinking this is the opposite of what you want to do, but think about it.....
Everyone wants what they can't have, right? So when you are suddenly unavailable it will drive him/her crazy.
You will be just out of reach, but not so far they can't get you again.
This reverse psychology trick really works (just like with children, because we never really grow up). Now, here is the checklist to go with the above action.
1. Don't Be Clingy
Don't call them, follow them, show up where they are, ask friends/family about them, etc. Don't threaten to kill yourself (usually makes them want away from you even more because they don't want to take care of a basket case).
2. Don't Have Any Type of Sexual Contact With Them
This totally complicates everything for both of you. It also makes you feel like a doormat inside and makes you look like one to them too. This advice goes for both men and women, so guys don't think you are off the hook. Keep it simple as possible while you are fixing the issues.
3. Be Busy All the Time
A busy, vivacious person is always attractive to the opposite sex, so don't just sit at home waiting for something to happen. Get out with your friends, take up some new hobbies, go on vacation, anything to fill up your time and your mind. This will also drive your ex crazy wondering what you are doing and how you got over them so easily. That will instantly make you look more attractive to them.
Also, don't grab the phone everytime they call. Let it go to voice mail sometimes. When you are ready to return the call, don't do it immediately, and ALWAYS be the one to end the call. At this point, you will be tempted to talk to them for hours if they are willing, but you want to end the call after a few minutes instead.
4.When TheyAre Ready To Talk, Don't Drop Everything
Soeverything above has startedto impact your relationship and now they are ready to talk about getting back together. You suddenly feel elated because you thinkthe break up is over and your lifeis back to normal. But wait.....don't drop everything and go back to all your old ways.Things will automatically revert to the way they were before the break up andyour significant other will probably leave again.
Youneed to startdating again....at the beginning....like a new relationship, because that's essentially what this is. No sex....period. You have to hook this person again, just like you did at the beginning of the relationship. Getthem investedin you again.
Also, don't drop your friends and all your new interests. Your friends have helped get you through these hard times, so don't drop them now that your ex is back. Set aside time to spend with your friends (at least some of it should be withoutthe significant other). Keep up your new hobbies and interests as well. Remember, a dynamic, interesting person is VERY attractive. And you want your ex to be interested in you for a lifetime, not just right now.
These are some beginning steps to help you get things moving back in the right direction.Please follow this link fora complete plan onhow to reconcile with your ex.
