subject: Confidence Is The Key to Dating [print this page] Confidence Is The Key to Dating Confidence Is The Key to Dating
Now, confidence is an issue with a lot of people. But maybe it is time to ask firstwhat is confidence for you? What kind of action does it take to be known as confident? Well, our emotions in various situations can make us think we are being confidentbut confident in what?
It is important to know that confidence is acheived relatively in a kind of case-to-case basis sort of way. So, first it may be good to know about all the situations where you feel you lack confidence. It is also good to prioritize or order the list, taking note what situation it is that you are least confident in.
Second, make a list of the situations above. Looking at your list, take note of patterns that recur. Are the situations homogenous? What do the situations call for? What people are involved? It would be well to reflect on the list. Focus on what thoughts bother you when you are in those situations. Identify the feelings you feel once you are confronted with this or that in those particular situations. What behaviors are generated because of your thoughts and feelings? What beliefs do you have that induce you to feel and think in this way or another? Identifying these patterns is vital to identifying what you are afraid of. It is fear that blocks confidence. Eliminating or controlling that block can be very helpful.
Third, focus on what is in the situation, rather than on what seems to be missing; ask yourself "What did you feel?" instead of "What do I not feel?". It is also good not to pressure yourself to feel confident. Nobody just gets to be confident quickly. If you are introverted, then you may have not practiced yourself in outward directed situations.
Confidence also requires emotional intelligence. Be aware of your emotionshow you truly feel. If you need to be assertive, be assertive with respect and in the necessary situations. Confidence also involves a balance between being passive and being aggressive. Being passive means simply allowing things or people around you to take control. Being aggressive (in this limited sense) means that you take action in such a way that you show off a sense of control or power; all this is an illusion of having power. Note that being confident does not happen instantly. It takes time to practice the self, first in controlled situations. Take your time and learn at your pace. In time, you will have the confidence you've always wanted.
