subject: Take the Steps to Becoming a Couple - Will He Commit? [print this page] Take the Steps to Becoming a Couple - Will He Commit?
Are you confused about whether you and your man are becoming a couple or just treading the lukewarm waters of a fling? Would you like to take things to the next level, and get a mutual commitment? Do you feel like you have never quite made it clear that you want exclusivity? We all know that this is a tricky subject at times. If you want to take the steps to becoming a couple with your new guy, here is what you need to do.
#1 Realize that you can't trap him.
Don't even try. Yes, sometimes a guy will agree to a relationship before he feels ready, because he doesn't want to lose the advantages of having a girlfriend. But, his reluctance to commit will probably lead to ugliness and resentment later in the relationship. You really can't make someone feel a certain way.
It is much better to look for someone who is ready to commit. If you are seeing someone already who seems to be on the fence, then what do you do? You will have to give it some time, and not try to rush things. But, don't wait too long, which brings us to point #2.
#2 Gauge his willingness early in the relationship.
Conventional wisdom would have it that men take a long time to come around to the idea of commitment. This might be true in some cases, but when a man wants to have a certain woman in his life, he often moves very quickly. If this is not the case with your guy, ask yourself if you really want to wait around to see if he ever gets ready to settle down. You absolutely do not have to put yourself on a shelf to wait for any guy.
If you are with someone that you have strong feelings for, and he's just not ready, you should make that tough decision to move on. You are in charge of your own life. Any guy who doesn't want to make a commitment will be happy to keep a woman around who is willing to settle for less. Don't be that girl if you would rather spend your time becoming a couple with a loving man.
#3 If you are really starting to get serious, talk to him.
Yes, this is the tricky part. If things aren't quite progressing quickly enough for you, you will need to find out how he feels. You might be developing strong feelings, and you don't want to let that go on without finding out how he feels. Don't nag or pressure him. If you can both talk about your feelings, then, and only then, will you be on your way to becoming a couple.
