subject: Learn to Build True Intimacy [print this page] Learn to Build True Intimacy Learn to Build True Intimacy
Do you feel that it might be time to leave the superficial dating behind, and build true intimacy with a man instead? Do you know how to do things on a different level with someone that you truly like? Are you constantly repeating the same old patterns that don't work out? It takes work to build lasting love, but it can happen. You just need to know the hallmarks of true intimacy rather than more shallow attractions.
Point #1 the problem with hookups.
It is not necessarily true that relationships don't happen if you sleep with someone too soon. Relationships can succeed or fail no matter how long you wait to have sex. The problem with sleeping with someone right away is that you might build a false sense of intimacy rather than true intimacy. You are risking putting lust ahead of love if you go for the hookup.
When you have sex soon after meeting someone, you have already invested vulnerability and intensity into the connection between the two of you. This can tempt you to build something with someone who might not be right for you. When sex is part of the mix, you can sometimes hope that things will work so that the sex wasn't meaningless.
Point #2 You will have to say the things that scare you.
It's hard to know how much to reveal, especially at the beginning of a relationship. It is important to be open with someone who you want to get close to. However, you don't have to share every detail of your past or even your present life. On the other hand, you shouldn't hide anything that would be important for him to know.
If you are tempted to hide things that are important in order to make a good impression, you should examine your motives. Don't feel pressured to spill your guts, or confess every bad decision you ever made. But, if you are having an honest conversation about each other, and he clearly is looking to learn about you, go ahead and say the tough things as well as the nice things.
Point #3 Be sincere with him.
This is closely related to the last point. There is more to sincerity than just letting your skeletons out of the closet, however. This point is simplebe yourself around him.
Not every relationship will work the way you want it to. But it will be worth the wait when you find that you can build true intimacy with someone that you love.
