subject: Finding the Real Deal – What Not to Do [print this page] Finding the Real Deal What Not to Do Finding the Real Deal What Not to Do
Are you longing to leave the single life and find the real deal with the right guy? Are you wondering what you're doing wrong and not finding the answers? How DO you go from dating to a meaningful relationship? What are the secrets? Sometimes love can seem so far away that it is almost unattainable. But when the real deal comes along, there are some mistakes to avoid so that you can let it happen.
#1 Don't stop seeing other people.
If you find yourself wanting to commit very early on, but you're not sure how he feels, don't start acting like a girlfriend in hopes that you will be one. Don't consider the relationship to be exclusive until and unless you have "the talk". In the meantime, keep seeing other people.
There are two reasons for this. One is that it is healthier for you to keep going out and meeting new people so that you don't set yourself up to get hurt. You shouldn't put your own social life on hold if he hasn't. Another reason is that your healthy approach to dating will allow him to see that he needs to make a commitment to you if he wants one from you.
#2 Don't drop your other interests.
Aside from dating, keep up your activities outside of seeing your guy. Spend time with friends, work out, and keep up with hobbies and work. Even if you are feeling obsessive about seeing that new man all of the time, it's not healthy to lose yourself in a new relationship.
You need to keep some perspective on things. It will be much better for you to do this, whether things work out with your new fella or not. Also, staying busy will let him see that he has to compete for your attention. If he's the real deal, he will work to keep you in his life.
#3 Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.
You might need to just be up front and ask for what you want. But, it is important to get your timing right. Pushing the issue too quickly might be a big mistake, because you might put undue pressure on him. You will need to take time out to make sure that you are not just in the grip of a temporary infatuation.
However, if things between you and a guy that you have been seeing have settled into a pattern, and nothing seems to be happening, then you should confront the issue. Try to keep the mood low-key, but you do need to say something. You owe it to both of you to indicate that you are serious about him. If it's the real deal, he will respond to you with the same feelings.
