subject: Finding and Building a Lasting Long Distance Relationship [print this page] Finding and Building a Lasting Long Distance Relationship
Many are looking for their soul mate, their ideal partner in life. In these times of modern communication means distance is no longer a barrier for starting a relationship. While finding pen pals is easy; how do you succeed starting and building a real relationship?
Finding your potential mate
Just searching the internet for words like "dating", "relationships" etc. gives you thousands of dating sites--some more serious than others--and for all kinds of people searching. And since these sites are, of course, trying to make a living commercial, there will be different fees involved.
Try to find a site which fits your personality best. Quantity of communication is key to searching out the right partner. Therefore you should find a site with many members and a flat fee--meaning you pay a certain amount for 3 months or a year, and can then communicate freely without worrying about extra costs.
Some sites have tools to make initial matches of personalities called "Psychological Test" or "Match Making Quiz". This can be fun and will also provide a method to make it easier not having to go through thousands of profiles.
Use your intuition and pick out a few you have an immediate liking for--and start communicating!
(I forgot to mention that often you start with sending a "signal", called "smile", "kiss", "nudge" or similar--just to see if the person on the other end is even interested in starting af conversation. If you get a reaction back--you can go ahead with an actual message--otherwise carry on in your finding process.
How to get started
Now the critical time has come in starting your long distance relationship. How do you begin? OK, skip all formalities and get rid of that shell of self-protection we all carry around. Here there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. The first email should give at least a glimpse of your personality, a hint about who you are. You also need a genuine response to tell whether there is some hope of a match--there is no time to waste on formalities.
You look at the profile. Take a deep breath; what was you immediate thought about this person? What do you really feel like saying to this person, about him/her or about your self? Say it! Be unique, be yourself.
Many times there will be no response, or it is obviously not a match. OK, move on - there are an abundance of people out there looking for the same thing that you are. Don't be discouraged or desperate after af few attempts, continue, and you will find gold eventually.
The story goes on
Now you have started a conversation. It is going well. Keep up the good work. Respond to the answers and keep writing what you always wanted to say to someone you liked but never dared in real life. In a long distance relationship the barrier of the distance can be turned into an advantage. There are no obligations, no hazards, you can pull out anytime if things become uncomfortable. The trust have to be build up gradually. And in the process you become a better writer and communicator--there is nothing to lose.
The next level
After lots of emails it is time to get more reality and real-time communication. So, get a free Skype account or similar and get even closer--now in direct conversation--and you can even exchange pictures and ideas quickly.
From that point I do not think I can make any advises--the rest is up to you! Other articles cover that subject better than I can. And why do I say that? Because this is point where I am now. And I have no clue what happens next... So perhaps I will come back with the next chapter of this article another time.
