subject: Common Sense Techniques For a Happy Relationship [print this page] If you want to not only keep a relationship, but have a happy and healthy one, then there are three fundamental basics that will keep you and your partner happy, healthy and strong. While there are other things like having fun together, being romantic, going out on dates regularly, you have to have active communication, trust, and honesty before any of the other things can be considered.
Open and active communication is the first fundamental basic to a good relationship. Many people who break up, do so because of communication break down, or there wasn't communication in the first place. Honesty and trust issues are also mostly due to communication problems, and so it is here that you must start. This doesn't mean talking about the weather, political issues, what the neighbors are doing. This means really taking the time and talking about big issues, each others hopes and dreams, fears and opinions. You both need to talk about problems like trust, and boundaries, and agree on what those boundaries are. Some people who have been in relationships before bring a lot of baggage into new ones, and have problems. Talking about your baggage can not only help resolve past issues, but lets the other person understand why you act a certain way, or be prepared. Communication also includes active listening, and taking the time to not only listen to what your partner is saying, but understanding where they are coming from.
The next fundamental basic is trust. If you have trust issues with your partner, you need to resolve these as soon as possible, or end the relationship. Whether it is because of something that you have experienced in the past with them, or a different person, you both need to sit down and get it all out in the open. (See, this is part of communication.) If you can't trust the person you are with because of infidelity or something else, maybe it is time to not be together.
Then there is honesty. This doesn't mean just the small things, but the big issues as well. If you are lying to each other, eventually the other person is going to find out. If you have accidentally spent too much money on something, or forgot to pay a bill, you need to let them know right away. If there is a problem, then be honest, accept responsibility for your own actions, and work things out. Many problems can be avoided in the first place if people are just honest with each other.
If you can do these things, every day, they will help build the foundation for a strong relationship. There are other things as well, like if you have an argument, try to resolve it in a timely manner. Take responsibility for your own actions, and don't blame the other person for them. Don't go to bed angry, and tell your partner you love them before bedtime, and as much as you can throughout the day. Be playful with them, go out for a date at least once a month no matter what. The biggest piece of advice for young people is don't have kids for at least a year after getting together or being married, take the time to know and enjoy each other first.
