subject: How to save a relationship [print this page] How to save a relationship How to save a relationship
Bob works long hours and Lisa doesn't feel that he's there for her. Lisa spends all of her time meeting the children's needs and Bob feels that she doesn't have time for his needs? Could this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here's some practical ways on how to save a relationship.
First, you need to decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost all relationships can be saved with hard work, both parties have to decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out in their mind and don't want back in, there is little that can be done. But you need to make sure both of you want to revive the relationship.
For many people, they stay in a relationship because convenience or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that's not enough to be able to save if one or both of you feel that way. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties to want to save the relationship.
Next, you must be able to point out the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem(s) is the problem itself. Not thinking that there was a reason for the problem to begin with.
For instance, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth is that the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, the lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the deep down cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the earlier stages in the relationship. If you do not deal with this lack of intimacy, you could be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of guilt, but another problem (like pornography) could arise because you haven't dealt with the core issue and that will sooner or later bring it on again.
After you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save your relationship. Once you have identified the core problems, you can start to share your thoughts. This means both partners getting out their own feelings and listening to each other's concerns. Hold your partner's hand when you are talking about your problems as a symbol that you do want to reconnect even when your emotions are out of control. And when your partner talks about things that hurt you, remember that they are not doing it to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to repair and improve the relationship you once had or want to have now.
Now once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to help solve them. Then take concise steps to put your action plan into play. If for instance, you don't spend time together like you have in the past, plan a date night each week. Another idea might be to take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday or other day you can. If communication is the problem, commit to spend 15 to 20 minutes before bed time just talking to one another, then follow through. Like I said, the key is coming up with an action plan and then making sure you stick to it and make each item happen.
And finally, you should realize that saving your relationship is an ongoing process. You are probably going to take two steps forward, then take one step back. This is normal so don't let it discourage you. There will be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Another piece of advice I must pass onto you is to forget about the past, it will haunt you if you let it. Move on with your relationship in other directions, don't look back, only forward. I truly hope your relationship is worth saving and that what I've described in this article "How to save a relationship" has helped you.
