subject: Chapter 3: The Beginning of Religion [print this page] Chapter 3: The Beginning of Religion Chapter 3: The Beginning of Religion
The Beginning of Religion
Even though I was learning very much from my family and my environment, when I was five years old, I started formal schooling. I can still remember the first day. My mother was in the back of the classroom. I kept turning to look at her and then it happened. I turned and she was not there. A sick feeling came over me and I felt so very much alone.
We were living with my grandmotherthen during the depression and my father and grandfather were both working in a glass factory as well astending the small farm. I really did not want to go to school. It seemed so stiff and formal and there were so many rules. One day I was saying my ABC'sin an audible voice and the teacher told me to be quiet. As I continued, she stood me in the corner. This really distubed me and I disliked school even more. I would have thought that the teacher would be pleased to know that I knew my ABC's .
During this time my mother also began to work outside the home. She would leave before I was to board the school bus and so I would convince my grandmother that I really didn't need to go to school that day. When my mother returned from work, she would know that I had not been to school that day, since the school bus had not yet returned and I would once again hear the sermon about how important school was and that I needed to be there. All I know is that I missed a lot of days my first year. Perhaps the teacher was glad that I was not there.
It was then that I also began religious education classesat the church on Saturday mornings. The BaltimoreCatechism was the text of the day. I can still remember those pictures ofpurgatory with the flames burning and the pictures of the white and black milk bottles that stood for the souls that were clean and the souls that were sinful. God was madeout to be difficult also with the Trinity concept. There were two questions that Sister would ask. The answer to one was "one" and the answer to the other was "three". If we got them mixed up, it seemed that we were saying some terrible thing. I later learned that the corrrect term was "heresy". Recalling this incident reminds me of a cartoon which I saw in which the priest said to the children: "God is one!" and a little boy raised his hand and said, "And I am three".
Sister also told us that animals did not go to heaven. This really disturbed me and I decided that if I got to heaven and there were no animals, I would not be happy and therefore God would bring animals there so that I would be happy. Today I firmly believe that when I die all my animal friends will be waiting for me at the tunnel entrance. My dogs will bark and jump up and my birds will circle my head singing their most beautiful songs or reciting the many words that I taught them.
Preparing for First Communion was also a chore, especially since it entailed First Reconciliation. We were given lists of sins and I kept mine in the chest of drawers in my bedroom . Each night I would take it out and make thenumbers behind the questions larger to include anything I might have done that day. Much to my dismay, my mother decided that I should wait a year before I received First Communion as I was only seven and she had received at the age of thirteen. She thought that I would be better prepared and understand more by waiting. But my list became longer and longer. I am now very happy to have been able to prepare many children for First Communion and First Reconciliation hopefully without any of that trauma, but with great emphasis on God's goodness and love.
Finally my cousin, Judy, moved to Gramma's house and we could go to school together. She was five years older than I was and I loved her dearly. I remenmber when I was in the second grade and she was in the sixth, we would be at recess together and when the bell rang, I would run to give her a kiss before I returned to my classroom. She still laughs about that to this day. Growing up in the pre-vatican church was stark and painful for me. Perhaps that's why I worked so very hard to put the principles of Vatican II into practice in the parishes where I ministered. Making God's love and freedom of conscience important topics, I believe I freed many children as well as their parents from living a life based on fear.
