subject: Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way [print this page] Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way
How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week that they are with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It's one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.
The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There's something to be said for getting "back in the saddle," choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it then start another relationship.
Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset
The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you'll regret is to take an honest look at what you're feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you'd rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart's just been broken and feels like it's being ripped from our chest. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn't involve any chance for romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who's all wrong for you is to stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you're thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you'd normally want, stay far, far away from them. Those people don't usually make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.
Beware of the handiest person
When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don't have time to "waste" looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street, all of which are huge no-no's. If you find yourself falling for someone you've never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what's really going on.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that's "friends," not "lovers." There's a difference.) Get involved in something you've always wanted to do but never made time for. Whatever you do, don't sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books. Stop thinking about it and DO something.
Be gentle with yourself.
Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you're lucky, you'll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you've taken a little time off by yourself and you're not lowering your standards.
While we can't prevent an already broken relationship: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid if you try even a little bit. If you are determined to be in a relationship, you may want to learn some additional techniques on how to maintain your relationship.
