subject: Explanations Men Will Give You When They're Cheating On You [print this page] Explanations Men Will Give You When They're Cheating On You
I get a lot of emails that list things or excuses that thewriter is seeing that make them suspect an affair. Examples are "my husband has been working late for weeks. Could he be cheating?;" "my husband says he's just under a lot of stress, but he never has time for me and / or shows no interest in me. Should I be concerned?;" or "my wife says that she has no choice but to travel with or work closely with her male coworker. Could she be cheating with him?" In the following article, I'll list some common excuses that are used when an affair is taking place to help you decide if you should take a closer look or if you have nothing to worry about.
The Stress And Pressure Explanation: Often, if your loved one is cheating, you'll notice that they are very distracted and / or distant. They often won't look you in the eye or give the attention and time that they used to lavish on you. When you ask about this, they'll say things like "I don't even have time to take a breath. I'm under a lot of pressure and you're going to bother me about this now?" Or, they excuse their behavior by saying that there is a lot of stress at work or in their life and that their attention has been turned to other things. This is sometimes understandable, but them being this distracted should not last for more than a few weeks until it starts to improve. If it starts to be a repetitive thing or if you notice this occurring in conjunction with any of the other warning signs, pay attention.
The Medical Excuse: Often when someone is having an affair, they will retract when it comes to being intimate with you. You'll see less action in the bedroom or they will avoid the topic of this all together. When you ask them about it, you'll get something like: "I have a cold," "I have a migraine,""I'm having a spasm in my back," or "I'm on my period,."They'll siteany grave injury (temporary, of course), that will keep them from being intimate. Now, every one gets sick, but if your wife or girlfriend has been on her period for more than once per month (or she's had a period that has lasted for weeks), then something could be off.
The Longevity Reason: Often, when you complain that you're not feeling the affection or the connection that you once were, you'll get a response that goes something like "well, we've been together a long time. We're comfortable now. What do you expect, to feel like newlyweds ten years later?" Of course you don't expect that, but you know what is normal in your relationship and you know when the physical spark is not there on your loved one's part. You can literally feel the difference.
The "You're The Problem" Explanation: This one is very common. Very often, the cheater will try to turn the tables on you. They'll tell you that you're grasping at straws. That you're too insecure and too needy. That you're possessiveness and paranoia is driving them crazy and will push them away. See, it's you that's the problem. Or, they'll tell you that if they were cheating (which they'll claim they're not), it's because you don't give them enough attention, or too high maintenance, or are not open enough. This is often an indication that they've already played these attributes in their mind as justification for the cheating. They may also be trying to ease you into the situation, knowing that eventually, should they decide to continue on with the affair or end the relationship, the truth may one day come out.
My husband used every one of these excuses, but they never rang true and I got tired of questioning by own intuition. I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read my very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/
