subject: Managing Depression: the Role of Medication and Hope [print this page] Managing Depression: the Role of Medication and Hope
Managing Depression: The Role of Medication and Hope
By
Chandrasekharan Kunnath
Introduction
I write this article as a service to those who have encountered depression and those who are currently depressed and those who may encounter depression in the future. I write the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
The Origin of My Depression
I am 74. Until the year 2005, I led an active, energetic life. I would jog 2 km every morning take exercises for about half an hour, eat well and sleep well. I used to ride long distances on my motorbike (400 to 600 km) and thoroughly enjoy it. My contemporaries envied me because they could not do it. They thought I was crazy and would often tell me so. I did not care. I was simply irrepressible.
In June, 2005 I went on a long motorbike ride to Palai about 400 km from my home town Trivandrum. The onward journey went off well although it was raining because I was fully clothed for the rain and it was broad daylight. I had gone to Palai to do some professional work. I successfully finished my work and was ready to return to Trivandrum about 6 p.m. when the sky suddenly became overcast and it began to rain heavily. I waited some time for the rain to pass off but it would not. I decided to start my journey as there was some daylight left before sunset. I was riding along MC Road. Incessant rain had damaged the surface of the road. I knew that the return journey along this road would be very slow and uncomfortable. So, I decided to make a detour from Perunna, a few km from Palai. My objective was NH47 that had a much better surface although the distance would be greater.
It continued to rain heavily and a pall of darkness had settled over the road. I realized I was not going to make it in these conditions. I stopped at Yatri Nivas (a KTDC hotel) deciding that I would spend the night there and resume my journey early in the morning. I went to the restaurant and had dinner. I asked for a room. Imagine my shock when I was told no rooms were available! VIP's had checked in and taken all the rooms. So, there I was, over 300 km from home with only the dark sky and darkness for shelter and heavy rain for comfort! I decided to continue my journey in the rain. The road connecting MC Road with NH47 was very bad. I had to ride very slowly. Actually, this ensured my safety.
I managed to reach Ambalapuzha on NH47 very late in the night. I checked into a small lodging house and slept till early morning. When I resumed my journey along NH47, it was still dark and drizzling. I rode at a speed of about 80 km/hr. As I rode on, dawn set in, the surface of the road improved and I was able to touch 90 km/hr. I knew that if these conditions continued, I would be home in about 3 hours.
Mistakes
The journey continued uneventfully for some time. Then the sky became overcast again and it began raining heavily. I stopped and waited in a bus shelter hoping the rain would pass off but it did not. It was then that I made the 2 mistakes that I would regret for the rest of my life:
(1) I rode in the darkness
(2) I rode in the heavy rain
Darkness and heavy rain are a deadly combination for the motorbike rider. This shocking realization came to me as I was doing 90 km/hr on the smooth surface of NH47. I rode over what looked like a harmless sheet of shallow water. The motorbike hit something with a tremendous impact that sent me flying upward into the air. I landed on my right elbow and felt searing pain as I slithered along the road ripping open the sleeve of my rain jacket, my shoes and I did not know what else. I lay on the road too stunned to do anything for a minute when I realized I was running the risk of getting run over by passing vehicles. So, I rolled to the side of the road found a large pit with grass at the bottom, fell into it and passed out.
People having their early morning cup of tea in a tea-shop across the road came running to my aid. They thought I was drunk. When I came to they had propped me up on the road and asking me questions to find out what happened. When I started speaking, they realized I was not drunk.
Actually, what I thought was just a sheet of water hid a large crater about a metre across a metre and a half deep. The front wheel of my motorbike had hit the edge of this crater throwing me up into the air; the real wheel had also hit the edge of the crater getting deformed with a bent rim and a flat tyre.
I will not narrate what happened after that because it is not quite relevant to the subject of this article. The accident left me with a bad wound in my right elbow that had damaged my ulnar nerve. The wound had several stitches to it, became septic and took 3 long months to heal with painful dressings.
The Symptoms of My Depression
While the wound was healing, I noticed something very disturbing: I had lost my appetite, could not sleep and had no energy. I was steadily losing weight. I consulted physicians. They asked me to do certain tests and found everything normal. One of them bluntly asked me what I wanted him to treat me for. None of them thought I might need a psychiatrist. I was becoming desperate. I lost all interest in life and started living mechanically. I began wondering why I should continue to live in this state and why I should not end my life but I cared too much for my wife and children to make any attempt to end my life. I decided to suffer whatever God had given me and prayed for His intervention.
Ayurveda
I had known Ayurveda to help people suffering from diseases that did not respond to Allopathic treatment. I consulted a famous Ayurvedic physician and tried his prescriptions for about a month. He had cautioned me that I should not expect any dramatic change in a short time. I tried his prescriptions for over a month without the slightest sign of any change at all and decided that Ayurveda was not for me.
Homeopathy
I had been told that Homeopathy as an alternative therapy worked where allopathic treatment was unsuccessful. I consulted a homeopathic physician near my home. Like the Ayurvedic physician she told me that I should not expect any spectacular results in a short time. I tried her prescriptions for a month and gave up. Homeopathy was just not for me.
Divine Intervention
Intervention came in the form of my neighbour who was a doctor. She was a close friend. She reasoned with me that if there was physically nothing wrong with me as the test results had shown, then would I consider the possibility that there was something mentally wrong with me? Her reasoning appealed to me. She took me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist's prescription worked like magic! For the first time after the accident, I slept well, had my normal appetite and energy! God had saved me! I can never forget what my neighbour did for me.
Normalcy
I was an extremely happy man! Now, I could jog in the morning, ride my motorbike and play with my grandchildren. I ate well, slept well and was full of energy. I became interested in life again. Things continued like this until I went to New Zealand to spend some time with my son in Auckland.
Relapse
Soon after I landed in Auckland, things began to change. Gradually, I became less and less energetic; my sleep and appetite were impaired: I had suffered a relapse. The medication that had worked so well when I was in India did not seem to be working. I spent a few months with my daughter in Wellington but things were the same. I consulted a psychiatrist in Wellington. He examined me thoroughly, diagnosed my condition and reassured me but nothing really changed. My son decided that I should go back to India as soon as possible and I did.
Recovery
Very soon after I landed in Trivandrum, things began to change for the better. Without any significant change in medication, I was feeling better. Gradually, I became myself again. I continued the medication and continued to remain well. India seemed to work like magic!
New Zealand Again
About the middle of 2009, I went to New Zealand again. I felt fine during my first few days in Auckland. I was jogging in the morning even when it drizzled slightly, eating well and sleeping well. Gradually, things began to change and I began to sense that I was in for a relapse and sure enough, I was! I went to Wellington after a few days in Auckland. There I reached the same low' that I had known more than once, earlier. The medication continued as before. After a couple of months in Wellington I returned to Auckland and consulted a psychiatrist. I asked him to explain why I felt better in India without any change in the medication while I always had a relapse whenever I came to New Zealand.
Stress due to cold climate
The psychiatrist's explanation was simple. He said stress was one major factor in the management of depression. He said it may be that the New Zealand climate did not suit me. He was right. I am not well-adapted to life in cold climates having lived almost all my life in tropic and sub-tropical regions. Compared to Canada where the mercury goes down to the minus range, the whole of the North Island in New Zealand is only moderately cold, if at all. Yet it caused stress for me because I was born and brought up in India, spent 13 years in Tanzania, East Africa and 6 years in Tonga, South Pacific. I was reminded of what the psychiatrist in India had told me. He said an entity called SAD' acronym for Seasonal Affect Disorder' was well known in psychiatry. So, that was the explanation: with the same medication, the climate in New Zealand was causing my relapses.
Return to India
I returned to India from New Zealand in March 2010. The moment I landed in Trivandrum, I began to feel the familiar changes for the better. In a week after my return, I was back to normal without any change in medication: full of energy, eating well, sleeping well and generally functioning fully.
Back in New Zealand
I have been back in New Zealand since 29 October 2010. Unlike my previous visits to New Zealand, nothing has changed so far! After 11 days in Auckland, I have the same energy, eat and sleep as well as in Trivandrum. It may be that I am now acclimatized to Auckland. I shall be going to Wellington next month. Once I am there, I shall know whether I am acclimatized not only to Auckland but also to Wellington. Anyway, I have hope and so far my hope has not let me down. So, this is my message to fellow sufferers from depression. Never give up hope! It may seem to you that things are hopeless but be brave and keep hoping against hope! God will reward you. It is a struggle to get free but the struggle is worthwhile!
Conclusion
Depression affects quite a large number of people at some time or other in their lives. Something triggers depression. Once it sets in, it is extremely difficult to believe that there is a way out of it but believe me, there is.
Manage your depression by doing the following:
(1) Don't waste time on alternative medicine; go straight to a psychiatrist.
(2) Most psychiatrists like to recommend counselling before prescribing medication; ask for medication; say no to counselling; it is expensive and mostly nonsense.
(3) Do not make sudden or drastic changes in your habits, style of living or environment.
(4) For the sake of those who love you, never think of ending your life; God gave you life; let him take it when he wants to.
