loan

subject: How Not To Fix Your Tush [print this page]

While most of us have a little common sense, the closer you get to

the Jersey Shore, the more precious that commodity becomes. In a FOX

NEWS story, written by David Gutierrez, it appears that some serious

shortcuts were taken on six New Jersey women, who thought they could

improve their hindquarters on the cheap, which is never a good idea

when you talk about plastic surgery.

All six women ended up being hospitalized...after having their "S"

shot up with...bathroom caulking.

Hospital sources, who asked to remain anonymous, said that the

womens's tucchusez looked like "moonscapes." (I don't think that was

meant as a compliment.)

In addition to the caulking, there were traces of petroleum jelly

and non-medical grade silicone, all the stuff you might use to keep

water from running down the walls and ceilings.

In a bit of unintended humor, an official from the state voiced

concerns over "back alley butt jobs." He also added this gem, "If it

looks too cheap, there's probably a reason it's too cheap. (You can

always count on a bureaucrat to add something to a story.)

The president of the New Jersey Society of Plastic Surgeons says

that "butt jobs" are relatively rare, and the reason is that the

surgery has big risks, chief among them that the silicone can shift,

when you sit down. (Giving new life to "Howse it hangin'?")

In other important news, my latest project, Exercise for People Over

50, is almost ready.

Here's the first exercise:

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty

of room at each side.

With a 5 lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out

from your sides and hold them as long as you can. Try to reach a

full minute and then, relax.

With each passing day, you'll find that you can hold this position a

little longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10 lb bags.

Then try 25 lb, 50 lb, and eventually try to get to where you can

lift a 100 lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight

for a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

by: Dr.Bill

welcome to loan (http://www.yloan.com/)