subject: Hugging Is Healthy [print this page] Hugging Is Healthy Hugging Is Healthy
Hugging Is Healthy
Hugging can't be mandated, but it is an important part oftreatment. Fat people generally don't get hugged a lot.Other people feel strange about hugging them, as if itwere an intrusion. They sometimes perspire more thannormal, they're not as sexually attractive as most people, and a lot of times are not sexually active either. Conse quently, they develop touch deprivation or skin hunger, which they have learned to ignore.
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I remember one time when denial of my skin hungerwas broken through and nearly overwhelmed me. I wasvery overweight and hadn't been touched in a long time. 1went to see the movieFatso with a date who was extremely skinny. When he put his arm around me I almost died. I was flooded with feelings and realized how long ithad been since I had been touched.
At first, some patients are uncomfortable with all thehugging that goes on, but they're so sensitive to touchthey quickly become aware they're not touching peopleeither, and that's part of recovery. People need to behugged in a nonthreatening, nonsexual, nurturing way, and the contact fosters intimacy and trust much morerapidly than words. It's an amazing Rxfast, simple, free,and nonfattening.
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I'll never forget Terry, a bulimic who came into treat ment looking like a little old lady, although she was in her early twenties. Every Monday we have commencement, a ceremony for the patients who are leaving treatment that week. Terry arrived that day. She wouldn't talk to anyone and kept her head down, appearing almost psychotic, as if she had lost touch with reality. At the close of the ceremony everyone stood in a circle and held hands. Someone tried to hug her and she angrily threw her arm away. After the ceremony, I went up to where she had withdrawn into a corner, put my hand on her arm, and said, "You're goingto be okay. The only choice you have to make is whether your're going to let me help you," and she started crying.
