subject: Exaggerating is a Device [print this page] Exaggerating is a Device Exaggerating is a Device
Exaggerating is a device used to get people to betruthful about what they say and the way they say it.Anytime people say something in the victim mode, they'retold to place the back of their hands dramatically on their foreheads. If they neglect to do so, others will provide thegesture for them.
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At first it's frustrating to have so many restrictionsput on the way you speak, but it eliminates the time-consuming, beating-around-the-bush babble that is allowed in more passive forms of therapy. There's no timefor that in a 28-day program. Many patients who have been in long-term therapy, especially one-on-one, areoften amazed to discover how much time and money they have wasted in self-indulgent verbalizing that never brokethrough their defenses to get to the heart of the matterthose explosive unexpressed feelings that lie behindlayers of protective verbiage.
You can apply these ground rules for self-expression to your daily living, starting now. Be aware of how oftenyou use the forbidden phrases. You will be amazed at howoften others use them, too. Notice how they contribute to stuck thinking and cloudy communication. Try out yournew way of expressing yourself in the safety of a 12-stepmeeting where honesty is encouraged and appreciated.
Within the small circle of eight to ten patients whomeet with a counselor for group therapy four times aweek, the most important work of treatment goes on, andthe most intense bonding. People often come into treat ment with no identity of their own. Once they get connected with a group, the other members help them seewho they are and what they're doing. They first take on the identity of the group, and siowly out of that comes their own. People share things in a group they have toldno one else in the world. Secrets, anger, grief, painmuch will be left behind in group during the twenty-eightdays of treatment, and these are of greater significancethan any weight lost or gained during that time.
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