subject: Seven Tips For Sidestepping Holiday Stress [print this page] Why do women allow external events (including the economy and the holidays) to create so much stress? Most experts agree that the best way to stay youthful is to reduce stress, and most women would like to feel happy and youthful, regardless of their age. So, why do we stress out?
Probably because women are born worriers, superb multi-taskers, and master caretakers. Many women obsess about the minute details of other people's lives while completely ignoring their own huge unmet needs. If they ever do allow their own needs to surface, many women feel guilty.
The result: many women live in a permanent state of stress that the holidays just make worse. Certainly, the stress response is important for the survival of the human race. It's a fight-or-flight reaction that prepares the heart, lungs, and muscles to respond quickly in an emergency or crisis. It helped us survive the days of the saber-toothed tiger.
But life is more complicated today, and continual stimuli trigger the stress response. Unless a woman learns to manage her stress response in a healthy way, she can end up putting tremendous pressure on her bodily systems. That's not good, because constant stress makes a woman susceptible to disease or other health issues: severe headaches, digestive upset, depression, anxiety, ulcer, colitis, high blood pressure, skin diseases, muscle pains, irritable bowel syndrome, or even worse, a full-blown heart attack or stroke can all be symptoms of excessive stress.
Take these steps to manage your holiday stress.
1.Learn to slow down. Develop healthy ways to nurture your body, mind, and spirit. Good health requires that all three systems be in balance. So give yourself a break! Pace yourself and spread out your activities over time rather than trying to focus on just one day. By the way, if you drink alcohol, do so in moderation. Excessive alcohol can increase feelings of depression.
2.Take time for you. First and foremost, you absolutely must exercise! Of course it takes time. You are worth it. And don't feel guilty about enjoying it. Just do it. Exercise is the apple that keeps the doctor away and helps prevent muscle turning to fat as women get older. Extra fat is stressful!
3.Set healthy boundaries and priorities. One of the first ways to do this is to have realistic expectations and to stop being so hard on yourself. Are your holiday expectations manageable? Set realistic goals for yourself in the light of what your holidays are usually like, and consider any special circumstances you are experiencing this year. just been through. We also need to allow ourselves to pursue our passion and our purpose for making the world a better place. Pay attention and do something about it if you are feeling feel depressed, pissed, or dismissed.
4.Ask for and accept help. I have heard so many women tell me "I ought to be able to do this by myself, so I must be inadequate." Nonsense! Don't be a martyr. Put away your Super Woman shirt. Ask for help at home, at work, in the community from friends, family, neighbors. You will find you have more time for yourself to re-energize (see #2 above) if you get others to help with activities.
5.Access the power of "No." Learn to say No to others and Yes to yourself. Start by refusing simple requests and build from there. With practice it gets easier and it may save your life while you teach someone else an important life lesson in responsibility.
6.Be your own best friend. Most women are better friends to others than they are to themselves. Would you demand from a friend what you ask of yourself? Do you allow that little voice in your head to berate you about your shortcomings? To criticize your every move? To undermine your confidence? Silence the critic and train that voice to become your biggest cheerleader. While you're at it, spend time with supportive and caring family and friends to remind yourself what a good friend you are.
7.Be authentic in your communication. You've got to be real. Trying to pretend that you do not feel and believe what you really do feel and believe is horrendously stressful. If you have good reason to feel sad, go ahead and feel sad. Notice that thought that continually runs through your mind? If you could express it you wouldn't have to keep thinking about it. Practice with a friend until you find a safe way to just spit it out. You'll be amazed. Don't say, "That's fine" when it's not. Don't say, "It doesn't matter" when it does. Don't say, "Oh, I'll do it" when you feel resentful. Be real.
Look closely at your stress patterns and start making changes today. You deserve a holiday season that is filled with family, friends, fun and faith. Despite breaking news about the economy, you can learn to manage your stress reactions in a positive way to find renewed joy and satisfaction in this holiday season.
