subject: Being Happy In A Relationship Is In Your Hands [print this page] Being Happy In A Relationship Is In Your Hands
Have you ever been in a relationship where everything seems to be going well between the two of you, aside from the few minor quirks of your partner, and all the while, however, you can't help but ask yourself "is this person really making me happy?" Your relationship seems good, after all, but maybe it's just not quite as exciting as you hoped or expected it to be, especially after the two of you have been together awhile.
Well, what if I told you that it isn't the responsibility of someone else to make you happy? Expecting someone to make you happy when you aren't already happy by yourself is not what love relationships are all about. The only person that can truly make you happy is yourself.
Let's think of this another way for a second. When is the last time you said "I'm bored" either out loud to a friend or as your status message on your favorite social networking web site? Today? Okay, then essentially what you are doing is asking someone to entertain you. You've failed to entertain yourself, so now you're hoping someone else will take on the job and succeed where you failed.
Similarly, if you are looking for your partner to make you happy in the relationship, you are asking them to do the work of keeping you happy and content. You're putting the pressure on them to come through for you whenever and wherever you fail to do the job yourself. And, whether or not you want to believe it, making yourself happy is, in fact, your job and your job alone. You can't expect anyone else to do it for you, let alone expect them to know how to do it for you.
You know yourself better than anyone else. You know what you like as well as what you despise immensely. When you are unhappy with a certain aspect of your life, like your job or the fact that you don't get to spend as much time traveling as you like, then who needs to make the necessary changes to get what you want and make youself happier with your life? Your partner or yourself? Yourself, of course.
Now you're probably wondering "well, if my partner is not spending enough time with me, and that's why I am unhappy, then why is that suddenly my fault?" Well, it is your fault and it isn't. It is your fault that you are not realizing that it is your obligation to make yourself happy in whatever way you need to. It isn't necessarily your fault that your partner either doesn't have the time or desire to spend more time with you. You don't have any real control over how your partner feels.
So, look out for own needs and make yourself happy. If you can be happier by accepting that your partner can't or won't spend more time with you then, by all means, do so. Maybe you can spend more time with your friends and hobbies and learn to cherish the time that you and your partner do share together that much more. If, on the other hand, you feel neglected by your partner's inability or unwillingness to give you the attention that you need, then perhaps it's for you to decide that maybe you can make yourself happier by finding a partner that not only has the time available, but is more willing to spend it with you simply because they want to and not because you have to ask them to.
