subject: Settle Your Virginia Divorce Case By Mediation/Collaborative Law Process [print this page] Settle Your Virginia Divorce Case By Mediation/Collaborative Law Process
Virginia Divorce Settlement Via Collaborative Law/Mediation
You may have heard that most divorce cases settle. You have filed for divorce in Virginia, and your plan is to wear down your spouse and to get a favorable settlement. But, do you really know what it takes to settle a divorce case?
Once the case is filed in a Virginia Circuit Court, either party has the right to seek pendente lite relief from the Court. This means that in all probability, you will find yourself in Court soon after the case is filed, either on your motion or your spouse's motion for temporary relief for support, custody, exclusive use of the home, exclusive use of a vehicle, or an order enjoining the dissipation of assets. So, now each of the parties has paid their attorneys to prepare and file pleadings, to prepare for the pendente lite hearing, and to argue the case at the hearing. You have now run through your retainer and must deposit more funds with your attorney.
At this point, the attorneys will start preparing discovery to propound to the other party. Propounding discovery requests and reviewing discovery answers can take hours. If either party is not cooperating, you will find yourself in Court again asking the Court to compel the other party to properly answer the discovery. Chances are that you have run through your retainer again.
Fast forward to settlement negotiations. The attorneys will send settlement demands back and forth, engaging in settlement negations by telephone or perhaps in person. Again, you are paying for every exchange. By this point, while negotiations continue, it is time to prepare for trial. Be prepared to make a deposit of thousands of dollars.
Now on the eve of trial, after paying thousands and thousands of dollars, you are faced with going into the Court room and submitting yourself to the discretion of the Court, where there are no guarantees. There is no more time to negotiate, you must go in to trial or settle the case. You are unhappy about the terms of the settlement, however, losing all control in the court room and potentially coming out worse forces you to settle.
So, yes, most divorce cases in Virginia settle. However, most do not settle before each party has suffered mentally, emotionally, and financially.
Fortunately, you have other options. In a collaborative divorce, the parties and their attorneys commit to settling the case right from the start. There is no threat of going to Court. All issues are discussed, negotiated, and resolved in a series of four-way meetings, and with the help of collaborative professionals including neutral divorce coaches, neutral financial advisors, and neutral parenting specialists, to name a few. There is total transparency; both parties agree to share information freely, avoiding the need for formal discovery procedures. There is no trial and no trial preparation. The case proceeds according to the parties' timeline, not the Court's, therefore, there is no push to settle at a particular point in time. Settlement comes when both parties are ready and when both are satisfied that the provisions of the proposed settlement fully satisfy the needs of the parties and will put the parties in the best position for a successful future. Collaborative divorce cases settle without the mental, emotional and financial destruction of those cases proceeding through litigation.
Many parties in Virginia choose to mediate their divorce cases. These parties also enjoy settlement without the extensive costs associated with litigation. A neutral mediator meets with the parties with the goal, right from the beginning, of reaching an agreement and settlement. As the parties go through mediation, they have the option of having attorneys in the mediation with them or having attorneys standing by to review any agreements that may be reached. However, As with a collaborative divorce, the parties agree to total transparency, avoiding the time and expense of discovery. The mediator facilitates the parties' communication, brainstorming, and problem solving. If the parties, so choose, the mediator may even draft the settlement agreement. Again, as with collaborative divorce, there is no trial preparation and no trial. The parties take the time they need without being forced into a less than desirable settlement. The parties control their finances, their relationships with each other and their children, and their futures.
All settlements are not created equally. Choosing collaborative divorce or mediation ensures that your settlement will be more manageable, more meaningful, and more satisfying.
