subject: Virginia Divorce Collaborative Law & Mediation - Is it better than litigation [print this page] Virginia Divorce Collaborative Law & Mediation - Is it better than litigation
Virginai Divorce & Collaborative Law - The Right To Self Determination
You have decided to separate from your spouse and to pursue a divorce. This may be a unilateral decision, or maybe you and your spouse both agree that the marriage is over. You have a vision of the divorce and life after the divorce. You have an idea of what would be fair and just in dissolving the marriage.
You have now filed for divorce in Virginia, and for the first time, you are learning that you are no longer in complete control of your divorce, your family, your finances, or your life. Your attorney is telling you how the divorce will proceed, what to say, what to do, when to be present in Court, and of course, what to pay. The Court's policy dictates the procedure and time line. The Judge makes all the rules in the court room and all the decisions; the Judge decides where your children will live, when each parent will see them, what each parent will pay for child or spousal support, whether your home will be sold, who will pay which debts, and how the property will be divided. You will emerge from litigation not recognizing your life; no one leaves a court room feeling satisfied; even the "winning" side has paid dearly and suffered much for what turns out to be very little.
Collaborative divorce and mediation in Virginia preserves the parties' self determination. When engaging in a collaborative divorce or mediation, the parties retain control. The parties determine how quickly they will move. Issues are prioritized according to the parties' needs and concerns. There is no threat of litigation; the parties do not go to Court. In the collaborative divorce, the parties and their attorneys work through the issues in a series of four-way meetings. Additionally, the parties engage neutral, collaborative professionals to work with them to improve communication, to develop parenting plans and to provide financial planning services.
In mediation, the mediator meets with both parties together to facilitate discussion, problem solving and resolution of the issues. Mediators also assist parties in recognizing and identifying the need for other professional services such as those offered by tax advisors, child specialists, or financial planners.
All agreements and settlements in the collaborative divorce and in mediation are the product of the parties' work and the parties' decisions, not the attorneys or the Judges. The parties own their agreements; they have decided what is best for themselves and their families; they have decided what is needed to move successfully into the future. They have the satisfaction of knowing that they have dissolved their marriage respectfully and responsibly. The parties can feel confident and secure as they begin their post-divorce lives, as they have made the decisions leading to that point, they are not forced to follow someone else's plan as is the case when litigating a divorce. The power of self determination makes all the difference in being able to move forward in a positive and hopeful light.
