subject: Learning to Trust After an Affair – How to Move Past Infidelity in Your Relationship [print this page] Learning to Trust After an Affair How to Move Past Infidelity in Your Relationship
Learning to trust after an affair is not an easy feat. Many couples decide to save their marriage but discover as they travel down the road towards rebuilding the broken bond that they can't do it. It's a two-way street. Both partners have to be willing to put in the time and effort it takes to overcome the affair and rediscover their connection. If you truly are committed to your marriage and you want to get close to your spouse again, you need to focus on doing just that. With determination and the right approach you two can build a marriage that is stronger now than before it was damaged by adultery.
One important aspect of learning to trust after an affair is communication. A common reason why some people stray outside of their marriage and have affairs is they don't feel close to their spouse anymore because the two of them just don't communicate. If you and your spouse stopped talking about the important things before the affair took place, you have to learn how to do that now. It's hard to lay yourself bare to someone, especially after infidelity has occurred. It's a crucial part of rebuilding the trust though. Start out slowly by talking about how the affair has made you both feel. From there you can move on to talking about what your personal needs within the marriage are.
Being more accessible is also part of rebuilding trust after an affair. Obviously the partner who cheated has to make their life an open book to their partner. But the other person also plays a part in this. If your relationship started to unravel because either of you wasn't paying the attention needed to your spouse because you were so consumed with other things including work that has to change. A person can begin to feel alienated if their partner is always focused on work and doesn't talk with them about it. You both need to make a pact that you will always be available for the other person. This includes answering your cell phone when they call or being excited to see them if they show up at your work for a quick hello. Nothing in each others' lives should be off limit if you're working on rebuilding trust.
It goes without saying that a bit part of putting a marriage back together after adultery is reconnection. You and your spouse need to spend more and more time together as a couple. Start doing more things together whether it's taking a walk after dinner each night or painting a room together. You have to not only rediscover your marriage and its bond but rediscover what good friends you are too.
