subject: Fair-Fighting Methods For Relationships [print this page] Fair-Fighting Methods For Relationships Fair-Fighting Methods For Relationships
Some of the ways you can have a fair and even constructive fight with your significant other include acknowledging negative emotions, giving yourselves the permission to cool down and think of the right things to say and how to say them; expressing your grievances in a constructive manner, taking turns listening to what the other partner has to say, allowing yourselves room to digest both the emotions and issues, apologizing and formulating constructive solutions, and learning from the problem while letting it slip into the past. Everyone goes through times when they don't see eye to eye with their partner. Even the most compatible couples can find themselves in an argument with one another from time to time. There are disagreements which come from insignificant misunderstandings and there are others which come from more serious and complicated matters. The best advice anybody can give regarding relationships is to make sure that fair steps are taken to ensure all parties needs are met. It's important to fight fairly with your spouse, so here are a few ideas to keep it on the up and up: Acknowledge your negative emotions: Before even starting the conversation, admit that you might have some bad feelings towards each other. If you are angry at your partner for something he or she has done, then be honest with yourself. Remember that it is alright to feel angry or hurt. There's trouble ahead if you act like you're content when you're really not. Give each other some time to regain composure and prepare to talk calmly Often it can be a persons first reaction to an argument, to start being verbally abusive or angry. None of this behavior will solve anything. But, you should know when to keep quiet and always be diplomatic. This can be difficult in an emotionally charged situation. Pause for a while and allow each other time to cool down and think of what to say if you find it difficult to express your thoughts constructively. Constructively express your grievances You need to be able to communicate what you're thinking about, along with your problems. Talk frankly with your partner, but keep it respectful and productive. When you engage in conduct like sarcastic comments that can only hurt you, your partner and the entire situation, you are engaging in anything but constructive behavior. Don't raise the subject of earlier mistakes, or matters that don't pertain to the present issue. Use fighting to fix your problems rather than to wound your partner. Don't do all the talking-alternate as listeners Fair fight is the concept of giving equal chances to both the parties for showing their talents. Before you speak, ask your partner to listen first and argue his or her side later. When it is your partner's turn, do the same. Listen carefully to what he or she has to say and do not interrupt. Let the moment go by, the issues making themselves clea. State your complaint and then give your partner a little time to think. Not only will it help the two of you to focus on the current problem, it will also help you to retain a proper grip on your emotions. Give this stage all the time you need even if it's several hours before moving to the next step. Apologize and come up with a solution It does not matter who started the fight, the important thing is that both of you acknowledge your mistakes and apologize sincerely to one another. You can solve your conflicts together if you are both sincerely apologetic. Draw lessons from the experience, but then let it go An apology should only be the beginning of reconciliation. You and your sweetheart should reflect on what you've learned without rehashing resolved issues. Do not dig up the problem after it has been resolved. People in healthy relationships still fight. It makes it easier for each partner to improve the relationship as well as achieve individual growth.
