subject: Anatomy of a Grudge [print this page] Anatomy of a Grudge Anatomy of a Grudge
Are you holding a grudge? Have you noticed yet that the weight never seems to get any lighter. No matter what you do or how much time goes by, every time something reminds you of it you feel just how heavy it is. As with most things, it is of course easier to look at grudges that other people are carrying around rather than the ones you might have allowed to stay on your shoulders.
Having observed some mighty heavy grudges lately has inspired me to look a bit closer at their composition. I find myself asking questions about the ingredients and the remedies. The first question that arises has to do with the cause: relationships, territories, religions and governments topping the list with it all boiling down to "my thought system" is better than yours. It really does not matter what the subject; it is that "better than" issue that really gets us in a bind and actually ends up minimizing the cause in many instances because it gets overshadowed by just wanting to be right. Also, most of us are just not totally ready to forfeit our victimhood.
The second question that comes to my mind has to do with purpose. Maybe it is to prove something, or possibly to punish someone, or even to provide some type of self protection. It is very possible that over time we totally forget the purpose, it just becomes the way things are. Even if there seemed to be a valid purpose in the beginning, things change so fast here on the planet Earth it is likely the conditions that started it all are not the same now. But, grudges are so solid that very few consider re-evaluating in the present, and besides that, the remedy probably includes letting go of the "better than" issue. Have you ever noticed yourself in a situation where you were disappointed, at least to some degree, that a resolution to an upset meant no more drama, and that meant no more excitement. That sure fits the state of the media these days.
My last question has to do with the ending. Is it necessary to have a moment of truth between the parties involved? Are apologies required? Or, can that grudge just sort of break apart and disappear? Maybe we could have a worldwide "Grudge Amnesty Day" where we all relinquish our grudges and start over. Personally, I could wrap my brain and heart around that idea. The repercussions would be amazing to watch, and the media coverage would be so much fun.
I think it all starts with each of us individually. As idealistic as it sounds, just start with your own heavy, or not so heavy, grudges. Make a decision about how it could come to an end, let it go, and then enjoy the peace.
