subject: Interpersonal Conflict: How To Avoid Being Trapped By The Symptom That Looks Like A Problem [print this page] Interpersonal Conflict: How To Avoid Being Trapped By The Symptom That Looks Like A Problem
Introduction"Jack and Harry just don't get on". "Mary can't work with Ellen". "Joe's really difficult to work with" These statements and dozens like them are heard frequently in workplaces of all shapes and sizes. We react with some counselling or conflict resolution meetings. Some improvement occurs. Are we solving a problem or just massaging a symptom?There's No Need For Employees To Like Each OtherThat statement is virtual heresy in some places. But it's true. What employees need to do is agree about goals and roles: what they're trying to achieve as a group and each individual's role in that. Most interpersonal conflict is role and goal based. People get on remarkably well when they're part of a successful team.What Lead Do You Give?Does you management style create conflict? Do you play favourites? Encouraging intense competition between employees may set them against each other. Do you publicly criticize or demean employees? If you're harshly critical of employees expect them to be harshly critical of each other.Start With the Group or TeamWhen two or more people are involved in achieving a goal you have a team. The goals of the team override the goals of the individuals who comprise it. You simply cannot work out what the individual needs to achieve or even do - individual roles and goals ? unless the team goals are crystal clear. Start by gaining agreement about the overall goals of the team.One of the commonest people management errors of the last 60 years has been placing individual roles and goals ahead of team goals.Negotiating Team RolesOnce you work out team goals, help team members negotiate their roles in achieving the team goals "If you'll do that, I'll do this" approach is a good way to start. At the same time help team members develop conflict resolution methods within that role and goal framework. Effective teams resolve their own conflicts. If you're being called in to do so, all members of the team have a problem.Systems And System ManagementAll you need now if for team members to develop systems to enable agreed roles and goals, both team and individual, to be achieved. It also helps to give the team the responsibility for modifying individual roles and goals to better achieve team goals. Good systems lubricate the workings of effective teams.ConclusionFocus on roles and goals. Stress team effectiveness. You'll automatically eliminate most interpersonal conflict. You see, interpersonal conflict is mostly the result of role and goal conflict. If you have agreement about roles and goals and interpersonal conflict still persists, send for the professional therapist.
