subject: Should You Or Shouldn't You? [print this page] Should You Or Shouldn't You? Should You Or Shouldn't You?
Getting Back With An Ex When The Relationship Has Soured
This is the age old question. Depending on what type of relationship you had the answer could be a resounding "yes" or a thoughtful pause to reply "I don't know." No matter which answer you are leaning towards the first preparation should be some reflection on the relationship. There are bound to be pro's and con's for either choice you decide. You know deep within yourself whether or not you should decide to go back with him.
Ultimately the answer will come down to if you can sustain a mature relationship and one that makes you happy rather than sad. Don't make the mistake many couples do of reconciling only to break up again a few weeks or months down the road.
This generally occurs if the couple did not take the time to sort out their differences and come together still holding onto their same old baggage. If you both want to try to work things out you may need the help of a relationship expert that can help give you some techniques to work through the issues that drove you apart.
The danger in making a decision without thinking things through can be blamed on our tendency to recall only the good parts of the relationship. In order to make the best decision you'll need to think things through clearly without bias either way which is not to rely too strongly on either good or bad memories, your decision should be as balanced as possible.
There is a history shared between you and your guy and more than likely you will come to the conclusion that your relationship should be reconciled. On the other hand there are those circumstances where some relationships are better off left to end. What is the answer? Again depending on the balance of good and bad times will be a big factor in your decision.
If you were one of those couples who consistently were on the outs with each other then the idea of getting back together would not be too appealing. Is it worth it? It probably is not.
As you are working through the answers resist bullying your ex into making a decision for both of you. Just allow him time to work through his feelings, even if he is sending you signals that he wants to rekindle the relationship he too must ask himself the tough questions you are asking yourself.
The characteristic of neediness has never appealed to anyone and if you know you want him back but make it too much of a necessity it will only serve to make him adverse to getting back together. If you were the one who broke up with him there is no need to take the blame fully on yourself, apparently something was going on in the relationship to cause you to make that decision. Be patient and take each day one at a time.
By not making a decision too quickly the one you make will be the correct one for your relationship.
