subject: HELP! SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME IS A SEXUAL ADDICT [print this page] HELP! SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME IS A SEXUAL ADDICT
The title suggests panic and alert, which is a probably a normal reaction especially if the person afflicted is a partner, close friend or family member. But we do not need to take such a stance. Like all kinds of addiction, one that is sexual in nature may also be treated with therapy and counselling. Sexual addiction is a term used to describe the behaviour of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. The action and the thought of sex dominate the person's habits, it difficult to work or engage in a healthy personal relationship. Some of the behaviours associated with sexual addiction include compulsive masturbation, multiple sexual partners, consistent use of pornography, unsafe sex, hiring of sexual services, and phone or computer sex (cybersex).
Generally, the person afflicted gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sexual partners. It leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behaviour despite negative consequences such as financial, health, social and emotional. Treatment of sexual addiction has to begin with the person afflicted having to admit and accept that he or she has a problem since most sex addicts live in denial of their affliction.
It usually takes a significant event such as the loss of a job, the failure of a marriage or relationship, an arrest or health crisis before an addict may admit to his or her problem. After such admission, you as a close friend, partner or family of the afflicted may begin to resolve this predicament. You must help the person recover from his or her problem but do not entirely shift the burden unto yourself. The sex addict should be realistic in coping with his or her problem and understand that he or she is being supported by people with genuine concern for his or her recovery.
Gradually introduce activities that would divert the sex addict's attention away from sex and give credit for his or her simple success or accomplishment. Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the behaviour and supporting the afflicted person to develop a healthy sexuality. Sex education and individual counselling form part of the therapy. In making the sex addict realize how his or her problem creates more problems, and in seeing the consequences of a healthy sexuality will lead the person to recover from his addiction and change for the better.
