subject: Is The Female Orgasm Really Elusive? [print this page] Is The Female Orgasm Really Elusive? Is The Female Orgasm Really Elusive?
The female orgasm has long been described as elusive, fickle and a mystery. If this sounds like what's going on in your bedroom, you are not alone. Only 11 percent of women report always or almost always having an orgasm with their partner. Up to 70 percent of women report that they don't achieve orgasm during sex unless there is some type of manual stimulation or sex toy involved. I don't think it really matters how an orgasm comes about, as long as it does. Unlike the male orgasm which can occur whether he wants it to or not, the female orgasm is much more complicated and can be affected by a zillion things. Scientists have proven that for most women orgasms are more mental than physical. Stress and anxiety are just some of the emotional factors that can affect a woman's desire for sex and her ability to orgasm. An adequate amount of kissing and fondling is needed to even start down the orgasmic road and don't forget the clitoris. Most women need clitoral stimulation to get off, however, every woman is different, so what works for one woman may not work for another. Besides the physical stimulation, sex seems to be between the ears and not the legs for most women, which is probably how the phrase "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" came to be. A relaxed and romantic atmosphere coupled with a little sexy talk from your partner will definitely set the stage for most.
Communication with our partners and our relationship with our own bodies is also key when it comes to having orgasms. It seems that men know everything about their penises, while many of us don't know or haven't investigated our own genitals. I know many women (some with children) who have never even looked at their vagina. I wonder how we can expect our partners to satisfy our sexual needs if we in fact don't really know what those needs are. I think some self exploration is needed here. If you can bring yourself to orgasm, then you can show your partner what you like and how you like it, but if you don't know what buttons he should push, how do you expect him to know. I'm not negating the fact that a skillful partner is very important in our quest for sexual pleasure, however, I don't feel that alone determines whether we reach the mountain top or not.
These days, more than ever before, men are concerned with the pleasure of their partner. Most of the men I've spoken to purposely wait to climax in order for their partner to reach the promise land. Society has long frowned on masturbation as it relates to women, but for a while now many sex experts have encouraged women to get to know their bodies by doing so. I think most women are capable of reaching orgasm barring a medical condition or side effects from medication. I think it's just a matter of mastering the techniques that work for you and communicating that to your partner.
