subject: The Art of Talk [print this page] The Art of Talk The Art of Talk
We engage in discussions everyday with one another, and yet many times, issues don't seem to get resolved. This article aims to identify this problem and explain how a simple truth can make life easier during discussion. Effective talk is needed in workplaces, during heavy negotiations, and even in your family living room. The importance of understanding needs is a subject that is misunderstood many times. Hearing is one thing, and listening is another. Demonstrating empathy leads to understanding. By successfully understanding needs, the person feels fully heard. At this level of understanding, the relationship strengthens and positive results manifest.
As I mentioned earlier, hearing is one thing, and listening is another. To find out the other persons' needs, you really have show genuine interest. Its essential to search for the key issue that needs to be resolved. By educating yourself about this, you learn to figure out how to serve an unfulfilled desire. When focussing your attention on the need, there is much rapport and the conversation moves in a positive direction. Hence the door is open for honest dialogue.
You really have to dig in. You have to try to sense the same feelings. This is a skill that develops over time. There are ways to practice this. If you suspect the other person is feeling a certain way, ask them! Confirm your intuition and see if its correct. By doing this regularly, and getting in to the habit, you'll start to truly understand people like you never have before! Ask people around you regularly, and clarify their needs. What is it that keeps them up at night, and drives them to their goals. When doing this often, you become more inline with those around you. Objectives are achieved in harmony, simply because you understand their needs.
Written by Basim Mirza
http://www.basim.ca
Sources
Tim Sanders. The Likability Factor. Three Rivers.
William Ury, Roger Fisher. Getting to Yes. Penguin.
