subject: How to Have a Peaceful Divorce through Mediation [print this page] How to Have a Peaceful Divorce through Mediation
In the many years I've been a practicing divorce mediation attorney, I've seen a lot. I've watched couples struggle through one of the toughest periods of their lives. I've watched them agonize over decision-making processes that often seem untenable and overwhelming. And I've watched the sadness and hurt that often arise from any divorce journey - particularly a divorce that is adversarial.
Dissolving your marriage is no picnic. No matter how you slice it, it's painful and sad. We move into a marriage with faith, hope and happinessand with every intention of making it the strongest, most fulfilling commitment of our lives. But, as one in two couples knows, and according to divorce statistics, that original intention and commitment doesn't always last. As individuals, sometimes we grow in different directions - and often in directions we could never had predicted when we exchanged those marriage vows.
I experienced this myself. After 30 years of marriage, my husband and I could no longer find reasons to sustain our original commitment, even though we had had four children together and had endured many of the seminal moments of our young adult and middle-aged lives together. The tapestry of our lives was interwoven in unspeakably deep and complex ways. And yet, we had grown in different directions.
My own divorce -- and the experiences of the clients I see in my Walnut Creek divorce mediation practice -- have taught me some very valuable lessons.
Your divorce does not have to be an adversarial blood bath.
You and your spouse can move through the process with a sense of PEACE.
The processes that allow for you and your spouse to find the most PEACE are those divorce experiences in which you and your spouse collaborate, share knowledge, get the right support, and collectively work toward solutions in real time that work for both of youand your children.
For me, PEACE is an acronym that stands for:
P= Persevere:
You and your spouse can persevere toward a solution that is win/win for both of you.
E=Empathy:
You and your spouse can enter a divorce process that enables you to think about and have empathy for your spouse and stand in your spouse's shoes.
A=Action:
You and your spouse can move through a divorce without blaming or acting out in anger. You can take action to find a solution that works for both of you.
C= Collaboration:
You and your spouse can work with together - and with a team of professionals (lawyers, financial professionals, child psychologists, and divorce coaches) and avoid the court room altogether.
E=Energy:
You and your spouse can direct your energy toward finding a bridge to the future for youand your children.
In my divorce mediation practice in Walnut Creek (I serve clients in Contra Costa and Alameda counties, including Dublin and Oakland) we build those bridges. Divorce mediation attorneys who specialize in mediation and collaborative practice have the training to help you navigate this difficult journey with a dignity and purpose that will benefit your entire family. We'll eliminate the win/lose paradigm and replacing that with a process where we reach an agreement that works for you, your spouse and your kids.
With an experienced and well-trained collaborative practice expert, you can cover a lot of ground: financial issues including child custody and child support, parenting schedules, health insurance coverage, property division, possible tax consequences, spousal support, to name only a few.
And it's not rocket science. It basically pulls from the principles that guide all good conflict resolution: 1) you agree to temporarily forgo the traditional adversarial proceedings 2) you don't set out to capitalize on the mistakes of your spouse 3) you agree to get everything out in the open 4) you agree to keep appropriate information confidential 4) and you agree to treat your spouse as you would want to be treated
The best California divorce attorney is the one who will respect you and the family that you and your spouse have built together. I can fill that role for you. I am the mediation attorney walnut creek who will walk you through the peaceful divorce process. To find out more about the services that I can provide for you, call me at 925-932-7026. Let today be the day that you stop blaming yourself for where you are, and start the healing process. Doesn't your whole family deserve that?
