subject: Dealing With Anger Part 2 [print this page] Anger is a natural reaction to certain situations. But is your reaction is disproportionate, like the man in Part 1. who exhibited excessive rage? Do YOU behave with uncontrollable aggression when you feel slighted?
If so, let's talk about how to control it.
When you routinely get really angry it's because, at some point in your life, showing aggression was the right thing to do - maybe because it kept you safe, maybe because it was your only option, maybe because it let you avoid something even worse.
Unfortunately, this extreme behaviour is habit forming but isn't always necessary, so here are some tips to help you calm down:
1. Breathe slowly and deeply, if you can feel yourself starting to breathe from higher up in your chest itll be easier for you to get stressed and angry, so breathe slowly from your belly.
2. Let your stomach pop out and avoid pushing your chest out. If you consciously control this fight or flight reaction itll keep your adrenaline levels down and help you avoid getting angry and pumped up.
3. If you can, withdraw yourself from the situation, making a conscious decision to immediately leave the room or area when you find yourself getting more angry. If you cannot leave immediately (if, for example, you were stuck in traffic) focus on something else - look away from whoever or whatever is infuriating you.
4. Imagine how youd react to the provocative event if youd just found out you'd won the lottery. Would you care about someone else's behaviour when you had such good news?
5. Think about a colour that makes you calm (like natural greens or reds) and imagine standing in an environment full of those colours.
6. Take a deep breath and imagine yourself somewhere you feel calm - on a beach in the sun, curled up in an armchair with a roaring fire on a snowy day - ANYWHERE you have been or could imagine being, enjoying a calm, collected, relaxing atmosphere.
New behaviours need to be learnt, and sometimes it'll take a little help to break those old and harmful unconscious' ways of behaving. Every time you consciously react a different way, you're reinforcing that positive pattern!
Rest assured with a little practice it will get much easier to have more control and more confidence in your own reactions to situations that made you angry before.
