subject: My Ex is Gone From My Life-How Do I get Her Back [print this page] My Ex is Gone From My Life-How Do I get Her Back
Would it trouble you to know that everything you have tried so far has probably made the situation worse than it was?
When your heart is broken, a wave of sadness seems swept over you. If you had a truly meaningful relationship, the sadness goes even deeper.
Nature has conditioned us to seek out a mate.
This is as natural as the sun rising and setting every day. The love we feel toward another often defies description. But when it is snatched away from us we immediately feel sadness, As time passes the sadness may be replaced by frustrationeven anger.
What you are feeling right now has been felt by many others just like you. It is a normal feelinghurt, lonely, lost in a dark pool of unhappy emotions. Questions must be buzzing about your mind: What did I do wrong, why did she leave me, something isn't right?
Is she ignoring your attempts to reach her?
No doubt you have tried to reach her repeatedly but were relegated to her voice mail. You may have tried to catch a glimpse of her going to and from work. You may be sending a flood of emails, but chances are she is just deleting them.
Slam on the brakes!
The best, first bit of advise you need to take right now is: STOP!. Stop doing whatever you are doing. Clear out your confused, befuddled mind of every thought of her. In other words, you must wipe the slate clean.
If you truly want her back as your companion, then here are a few tips to put you back onto a sensible course of action. Your hit or miss, grasping at straws approach hasn't worked or you would not be reading this. Below are tried and tested guidelines to begin the recovery process. But before you read them you must come to accept a basic fact:
This isn't about her.
It is about you! No doubt she has her faults but the fact that you want her back so desperately means that you have overlooked the faults. Her faults are not the problem. You are the problem. Nothing you do can "change" her. You will have to change!
Begin the recovery mission by stop doing whatever you were doing. For the next week, stop calling and leaving messages. Got that? No more phone calls. No more e-mails. No stalking her on the streets during this a "cooling off period," if you will. After a few days she'll begin to wonder what's up with you. She will wonder why the silence? Keep her guessing!
During this one week "truce" period you should sit down and list every possible thing you may have done over the past couple of months that precipitated the split. Be honest with yourself. If you think your relationship was perfectYOU ARE WRONG! It was not perfect or you would not be in this predicament.
After a week with absolutely no contact, write her a letter. Hand-write it! Do not send a typed letter. This is no place for MS Word. Begin with a simple apology. Explain that you know it was something YOU did that sent her away. Be humble but do not demean yourself. Try something like this,"I realize that I am an imperfect person. I made mistakes. I took you for granted. Everything I did was for and about me. Here are some of the blunders I recognize I made" And list 3 or 4 of the worst ones.
End your letter with something like this, "I apologize from deep in my heart. If you can bring yourself to allow me to just meet with youin some public place--! will ask for your forgiveness. If you are willing to meet with me just half way, I do not think you will regret it. But if you are still unwilling to make just one step to restore what we had, I will understand"
Granted these are just a few suggestions. It will be of immense value to you if you prepare yourself for this meeting if she agrees to it. Before you send the letter you are urged to get the full story by a man who has helped to restore literally thousands of relationships all around the World. The book, "Getting Her Back For Good," is a top best seller. It is so great that it was featured on top TV shows like "Oprah." Arm yourself with the best information available.
