subject: 10 Tips To Having An Illness Support Group That Isn't Depressing [print this page] If you live with chronic pain or an illness, odds are that you have attended a support group at least once since you were diagnosed. Did it feel something like this?
You feel exhausted and not very motivated to attend the meeting but you decided to go anyway. Find the meeting place, a parking spot and the right room leaves you wiped out. At last you locate a hard, sticky seat. A few people smile at you, but there is a discussion going about now aggravating doctors can be. Soon the topic moves to people comparing how many milligrams and pain killers they need and it feels like your pain is minimized because you are on less than most people. Two people try to convince you to try their juice remedy and you want to run screaming. It's so depressing!
Aren't support groups supposed to be valuable in learning how to cope with illness and encourage one another?
Yes! David Spiegel, MD, has proven in his studies that support groups improve the quality of life for the participants. While recent studies have shown that the patient may not live longer due to the support groups themselves [See the Sept. issue of CANCER, the journal of the American Cancer Society,] there is no denying that having your feelings validated by those who understand will help you sleep better at night. So here are some icebreaker games for small groups to perk up the people!
You may attend a support group, or perhaps even lead one, but regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it's likely that you've seen the slippery slope of how quickly people can go from sharing honest, vulnerable feelings to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Looking for fresh and fun icebreaker games for small groups to perk things up?
Here are 10 tips to help you make your chronic illness support group include some laughter as well as just the discussion of challenges. And these ideas will work for any groups, from a Dementia support groups in Dallas to an Ebsteins Anomaly support group. And these ideas are perfect to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.
1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, "Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary." (Then flip it over) "But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house."
2. Redefine your conception of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, start a JOY box and ask everyone to bring an item for it that someone else can take home with them. Have each person choose an item at the end of the meeting. It could be a silly toy, a cartoon, a rubber fish, or great book, a poem, a note someone sent that encouraged you, or even a funny DVD. Ask everyone to return them at the next meeting and exchange it for another item. Refresh the box up now and then.
3. Let your small group write a silly theme as their next icebreaker. If anyone plays the guitar, have them help. You can pick a well known song. Write your own lyrics. Have fun with it and open or close each meeting with it. Comedian Anita Renfroe has a fun parenting song to get you brainstorming.
4. Bring corny props that you use during meetings. Don't make anyone feel pressured to use them (some people may not come again if you make them put on a clown nose.) But have them available and encourage silliness before getting down to the nitty gritty of why you're really there. Oriental Trading Supply has thousands of fun items to use at a reasonable cost.
5. Don't allow the group to turn into a platform for any one member who talks incessantly about her illness, the treatment, the alternative treatments or even her complaints. If you have someone dominating the conversation, tell the group you are implementing a timer and set your own guidelines. (For example, can people vent for 60 seconds about anything they want? Can they share about an alternative treatment they want the group to try? Give them a time limit.)
6. Ask everyone to bring an item to include in a gift basket encouragement for someone else. It may be someone who cannot attend the group someone having surgery, or a friend of someone recently diagnosed. Put your ideas together about things people would like. Don't forget personal notes or even sticky notes on a small gift can mean the most.
7. Go out for one evening just for fun. If everyone want to act their age you may consider a sit down restaurant, or you can head on over to Chuck E. Cheese's or Build-A-Bear. It's a terrific icebreaker for small groups since people who haven't opened up in the group may find this is a more relaxed environment. Consider including family members to participate.
8. Provide handouts or items that encourage people to thrive with illness. For example, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week always has fun items like bumper stickers, static clings, stickers, pins, mugs, etc. with the different themes like, "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through!"
9. When you schedule guest speakers, remind them that you want to provide the most positive outlook as possible, while still being practical. Invite them to pass out props, encouraging articles. Listen to your speakers before scheduling them. Some illness speakers are quite depressing.
10. Focus on things that your group can actually do that will change things, since they may feel so unable to control their illness. If you can't physically participate in the local walk for charity, could you work at a table handing out snacks or doing registration? Find events your group can participate in to feel like they are doing more than just complaining about their predicament. Take advantage of the energy that teens with chronic illness often have to motivate support groups to get involved in outside projects.
Support groups can provide some of the most influential relationships that can help one live successfully with chronic illness. The environment of the group, however, can make or break its usefulness. With these few simple tips, your group can be a refuge and a place of true relaxation, creating an special group for people to create friendships that could just last as long as the illness, perhaps indefinitely.
