subject: Something about Deep Feeling [print this page] Something about Deep Feeling Something about Deep Feeling
Sometimes I really do not know what I want to do and what I am doing now. I only feel sad, heartbroken and I can not do anything well. I am just like a new fish even though I have worked hard and fighted in the society for a long time. No matter how much effort I have taken, the success is others. The reality is so cruel anyway.
Perhaps, I have thought too much and fussy about a bit more on something. For these years, the biggest gain is that I grow up and become mature. I have ability to take care of others and think before act and something else. I think this may be a so-called gain. People always say: "No pays, No gains."Although my career has not big progress, I have a happy family. This is not a small harvest. It is content. God is fair to me, because I double win the career and love. Thanks a lot.
I still do not feel balance. I did not go to college. This is the big problem for me to do anything. Whatever how hard I try to pay, the good chance I can do a project always offer to others. What I can do is just watch it. I am so closer to my favorite job, but I am not qualified to do it, just because I am not a college student. Who can know how I feel. I do not know how to describe my awful feeling. I see the cruel reality leading to this result. Is it really for my education background or my ability? Or just because am I a woman? This make me pretty confused. I do not think I am bad than others? Am I so confident?
I find the information I need everyday and write some relate data. It seems to prepare something for me. I said to myself, just do it better now and do not consider too much. Whatever, I can follow what my brother said. He told me you had better try your best to do everything and not care about the result. Everyday at the same time, I am used to open the information, turn up the notebook, hold the pen and write them to be familiar with what I want to know. You maybe laugh at me. You know this is impossible but I insist doing it. I find it is a good thing for me. Although I can not what I like, I can learn some I like. Now it is impossible but I can do it later.
My goal is too far to achieve it in a short time. I believe I can obtain a result only when do I do my best. Keep learning. I can do like what others do. Different people have different duties. So just trust yourself.
