subject: Stalker Survival Guide - When Your Ex Will Not Leave [print this page] Stalker Survival Guide - When Your Ex Will Not Leave
Copyright (c) 2010 Linda ColeWhen you first become aware you have a stalker in your life it is almost hard to believe. Why would somebody be keeping tabs on you and trying to get into your life?If it is your ex boyfriend or girlfriend acting this way after a breakup you may be inclined to think they will eventually get the message and move on. You may even be flattered by this attention until time goes by and it seems as if they are never going to leave. At this point you know your ex has a problem and you may even tell them for the last time the relationship is over and you would like them to leave you alone.Sometimes when you break up with someone they may try for a short time to win you back. This will probably come in the way of flowers, gifts and text messages. In most cases the wounded party gives up realizing their words and acts of affection are falling on deaf ears.A stalker is somebody who takes it to the next level. The gifts and messages can go on for months until you become very concerned that they are still trying to get your attention.It is not your fault it is the fact that this person's brain is wired very differently. Your rejection triggered something in your ex and they were unable to comprehend you were no longer romantically interested in them. In fact you wanted them out of your life for good.Instead you have an ex boyfriend or girlfriend who is becoming relentless in their pursuit of you. It is about now that you will begin to feel suffocated and fearful.The realization that you have a stalker in your life can be very hard to come to terms with because up until this point in time your life may have seemed very normal. Suddenly being watched and followed everywhere you go can change your perception of human nature forever. Some people find it so difficult to deal with that they can go into a form of denial because the reality they are now living in is too much for them to comprehend.Stalkers are obsessive and unable to function properly in normal relationships. They are outcasts of society who live in a fantasy world of their own making. Once they have chosen their subject they pour all their attentions onto them with absolutely no consideration for the feelings of their victim. As far as they are concerned you are their own personal piece of property available at any time of the day or night for their selfish demands.You cannot reason with a stalker so once you accept they are real you should never again have contact with them. This would cause them to believe that you are interested in them even if you were telling them to back off.They will bombard you with gifts and messages of undying love until they realize you are not going to give them what they want.This is where the stalker changes his tactics and begins threatening and bullying you. Do not panic because many stalkers will never touch you but they will try to intimidate you.They will harass you with calls at your workplace and send letters to your home. Their whole campaign is based on making you feel fearful enough to see or talk to them. Do not fall for this because the minute you make contact you will be back to square one.Talk to your family and friends and I would advise to talk to the police or a law enforcement agency. They will give you advice on how to deal with the stalker.If you can get a member of your family to stay with you for awhile as this may force them to give up. If they do not you have a witness who can verify somebody is interfering in your life.Hard as this may seem I urge you to fight back. No one has the right to make another person feel trapped and afraid so call on every scrap of strength you have and get on with your life. A stalker wants you to be so scared that you stay in your house with the curtains closed too afraid to venture out.Knowing how they think is half the battle won because you need to remember they are not sane? You may feel like you are losing your mind but that is just the tricks they play on you. You can get through and you will because your life is special and precious. Many women and men have survived a stalking and so will you.
